Winters War

Chapter 11:

~Blue's POV~

        "Are you going to change?"Sam asks me. "Are you guys planning on watching me? If so I wouldn't mind getting some extra cash for it." Sam rolls his eyes and turns away, his back now facing me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bucky take his jacket off and approach me. Every muscle in my body tightens. I want to back away, hell to even turn and run, but I've made it this far I can't back down and show I'm scared in front of him now.

       'What are you doing? It's Bucky. I don't need to be scared of him. He's my husband.' My heart continues to pound but I don't back down. Once he is about a foot away from me I begin to look up at him, his ocean eyes looking down at me. It's been so long since I have seen those eyes. No, I can't trust those eyes, I can't trust anyone's eyes. 'Yes I can. It's Bucky. He wouldn't hurt me, I know he wouldn't.'

        "That doesn't mean I want you to see my either."I tell him, my words coming out cold and sharp like the blade of a knife. "Then how would you like me to cover you?"he asks. "Simple, turn around and stretch your arms behind you. I'll place the sides of the jacket in your hands." "You are making this way more complicated than it needs to be."he says "James."I snap unintentionally.

There is just silence between everyone for a few seconds. "Just turn around and do this please."I say this time trying to not to sound as mean. He doesn't object and just does what is asked of him. I place one  sleeve in his hand before turning to the other. His left arm isn't stretched out enough so I carefully touch his forearm and pull it back a little. This little of a touch seems to make him glimpse at me. I forgot how sensitive his metal arm has always been.

He could hold fruit in the palm of his hand or between his finger tips and never smash them. Bucky I was always to scared to hurt anyone especially me no matter how sensitive his arm was. I think part of it was because he remembered the feeling it had when he hurt people.

"Did I do this to you? he asked brushing my hair to the side. I didn't think there would be any sign of bruising just yet but apparently I was wrong. My heart sank the more he stared at it. Part of me wanted to lie somehow and say that it was from someone else but he would never believe that. "Yeah you did."I say after I let out a soft sigh. He doesn't say anything and just looks towards the ground and his hands. I can tell he felt guilty and hurt over what he did.

       Slowly I crouch beside him, looking dead in the eyes. "It's okay though because I did this."I say, my fingers gently brushing the stab wound in his shoulder. He flinches at the slight contact and pain before turning his icy blue eyes back to my own. "We are even, so don't feel so guilty."

       I place the other sleeve in his hand before realizing just how close that put the two of us. This is going to be a little harder that I originally thought. I slip my shirt over my head making myself loose balance and bump into him. It felt like bumping into a wall with how tight and tense his back felt. Before I know it my fingers I pressing down on his shirt and making there way across his back. The warmth of his skin melts through the fabric and seeps it's way into my fingers.

Any tension in his back seems to melt away. I remember back to how whenever I did this when he was stressed, mad ,or just upset in someway, the tension would just melt away. "Everything okay?"he asks me. "Everything is fine, just small amount of space."I tell him. Quickly I pull his shirt over my head, the scent of him washing over me. It smelled like home, it smelled safe.

The thought of home though felt so far away. All he and I ever did before I left was fight. I mean he was gone all the time, I hardly ever saw him. Bucky was never there when I really needed him anymore. I know he misses Steve and I know he is really struggling with that but I am too. Steve was all I had when Bucky turned to ash. He wasn't the only hurting.

After all of this I don't know if home would ever be home ever again, if Bucky would ever be Bucky.....if Bucky would ever be home again. "I'm ready."I tell them. They turn around and look at me. For a second I could feel my soft side showing. One thing all of this has shown me is to never show your belly to something that could possibly hurt you. As of right now I am married to one of those things.