Winters War

Chapter 40:

~BLUE'S POV~

People crowed the the store as I wait at the counter. "Here you go, everything has been transferred from your old account and number on to this new phone. You're all set."the clerk tells me. "Thank you so much."I say with a smile as I take the phone from her. As I make my way out of the door, my eyes scanning over the random wall paper before noticing red notifications on the phone icon. I pause as I look at who's number this is.

His voice echos in my ears as I listen to voicemail after voicemail, my heart aching with each and every one. It gets to the  point where I feel like I need to sit down to keep myself composed.

"I uhhh don't know if you're getting these, I kinda doubt it but.....I wanted to wish you a happy birthday baby. I miss you more than anything. Please come home. I need you, Storm needs you." Suddenly I hear gibberish on the line, "She says she miss you too, but more than anything we love you Blue. Goodbye my love."

"Hey it's me, listen I am worried about you. I woke up and you were gone. Was it something I did or said? Please Blue just call me back. I love you."

"Hey, just please tell me what's going on and where you are. I'm worried."

      That was the final message, there was no goodbye, no I love you, just silence as the line disconnects. Tears well in my eyes  as I try to keep my composure by taking deep breaths. My method definitely isn't working so I throw the hood of my jacket up and place my head in my hands. To hear all the worry and panic in his voice when I didn't come back, the begging for me to stay, the saying goodbye, all of it is a knife in my heart.

      Now I'm back and I reopened all the wounds he was trying so hard to heal. Maybe I should have just stayed gone. Suddenly my chest feels super tight as I keep thinking about him. I need to call him and tell him what's going on. No I need to get better first. With no one else to turn to I begin searching for a contact. "Hey, can I come over?"

       The lake is calm and tranquil as I wait for the door to open. I knock again and this time it swings open. Pepper stands in front of me, her eyes practically bulging from her head. "I thought it was a prank call."she says to me. Before I even get the chance to respond she pulls me into a warm embrace. I can't help but hold her tight and try not to cry.

       I must have failed because as she pulls away from me her smile turns to a frown. "Honey are you okay?" No words manage to leave my throat so I just shake my head. Gently, she takes my hand and leads me inside. The cabin smells of vanilla, pine, and hot chocolate. The place hasn't changed much since the last time I was here. "Smells very festive in here."I sniffle. "Thank you Morgan really wanted to start getting ready for Christmas...very early."she chuckles, "hot chocolate?" "Yes please."

      I watch carefully as she sprays whipped cream on top before handing the cup to me. "Does Bucky know you're here or alive?" "No he doesn't know I'm here, yes he knows I'm alive." She gently motions towards the couch for us to get comfy. There is a moment of silence as we sip our drinks. "Honey"she suddenly says, "what's going on? What happened to you?" Her knuckles are practically white as she grips her mug. "Long story short I was kidnapped by the Flag Smashers and used as a Guinea pig for a new Super Solider serum."

Her jaw hangs open as she looks at me. "Yeah so there's that."I say before taking another sip. "So your a..." "a Super Solider? Yes." "Weren't you one before?"she asks me. "No, I was supposed to be some other more elite Solider, I guess you could say. They wanted me to the equivalent of Nat but with powers." Her eyes jump down to her cup as she takes in all of the information I'm throwing at her. "I escaped before they could turn me into her."

"How did you escape?"she asks. "Bucky actually found me." Her eyes widen. For the next few minutes I explain everything that has been going on all the way up until this point. She doesn't say much of anything instead she just looks down at her cup and nods her head. "So now I'm here and I don't know what to do."I tell her.

"Seems like you're in a tough spot."she says. I can feel the heat behind my eyes as I think back to Bucky. "I still love him Pepper but I don't know how to love him like I used to." I feel the tears fall as I quickly try to wipe them away. Pepper's hand gently grasps mine, her thumb running over my cool skin. "Love works in strange ways Honey. Life seems rough right now but things will find away to work themselves out if you help them."she pauses for a moment before continuing, "I think you need to open your heart again."

My gaze meets hers when I hear her words. "You are so scared of letting anyone in again because of everything that happened to you, but the only way you can heal is open back up. You're so worried he is going to be taken from you again that pushing him away is easier." I sigh before taking my lower lip between my teeth, keeping in the sobs I so desperately want to cry.

Suddenly sobs ring out in the air but they weren't mine. Everything in my chest tightens as I hear her small cries. "Is that....". Pepper's eyes look at mine with a soft smile. "Yes, would you like to see your little girl?"