Just Friends (A Jaime Preciado Fanfiction)

'You're So Much Stronger Than That'

Once we pull away, she laughs a little and wipes her face.

"I'm sorry to break this moment, but, um, can you help me with the science notes?"

I laugh and nod.

"Of course I can."

"Thank you," she giggles and walks across the room to get her backpack. Once she's settled back on the bed with me, she pulls out her notebook and textbook, opening them and flipping pages. As she's trying to figure out the page, I glance around her bedroom. I love it so much. I've only been here a few times, but it's so cool and comfortable looking. She was telling me the other day that she was on Tumblr and saw this bedroom that she absolutely fell in love with, so, she copied it almost exactly. Her mattress is on the floor against one of the walls, with gray and black flower bedding. The opposite wall is a bunch of posters to bands she likes. Green Day, Blink 182, Pantera, My Chemical Romance, Mayday Parade, Bring Me The Horizon, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fall Out Boy, Nirvana, 3 Doors Down, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, A Day To Remember, Def Leppard, Guns N' Roses, Journey, Mumford & Sons, and All Time Low. The funniest part is to the side, there's a smaller poster of *NSYNC. When I asked about it, because it was totally different from the rest of the music she listened to, she replied with "They are my guilty pleasure. I couldn't not put them on my wall. If you talk about it to people, this friendship will be over."

"Alright, what did we write from this last paragraph? I didn't quite catch it."

I lean over her book and skim the paragraph she's pointing at, racking my brain for key details. I see something bright red in my peripheral vision. I glance to the side and see a large red mark peeking out from her sleeve as she's holding the side of the book.

"Oh my gosh, is your arm okay?" I ask, worried. How did her dad manage to do that?

She quickly pulls her sleeve down.

"Oh, yeah. I accidentally cut myself the other day. It's no big deal."

"Oh. It's really red. Did you put alcohol on it?"

"No, I didn't."

"You should. You don't want it to get infected."

She laughs. "You're so cute."

My heart skips a beat, but I really want her to clean that out.

"Awh, you're cuter, but can you please clean it? It's going to bother me."

"Yeah, I will later."

"But, your hoodie is touching it, and making it all gross and it looks infected,"

She doesn't reply.

"It'll take two seconds." I urge, my OCD coming out.

"I'll do it, later." she repeats, getting a little annoyed.

Damn it. I always screw things up. Why the hell couldn't I just leave it alone?

"I'm sorry," I say, quietly.

she sighs.

"No, I'm sorry. It's just-" she sighs again.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

She looks at me, as if considering something.

"The cut wasn't an accident. There's others,too."

I don't understand at first, but th realization hits me like a truck.

"Oh my god..." is all I can get out. "I'm so sorry,"

She smiles a little. "It's okay. I just thought... I really like you and it might be easier not to lie to you,"

I'm trying to comprehend all of this, but my mind is stuck on that one sentence. I really like you.

I don't allow myself to feel happy about it just yet, though.

"Well, I totally get it if you don't want to talk about it, but if you do, I'm here for ya."

Her smile gets bigger. "You're amazing, Jaime. Thank you,"

I smile back. "No problem. Just... please try not to do it again. I know it's not my place to say this, but it's a terrible habit and you're so much stronger than that,"

"Thank you so much, I promise I'll try and don't worry. Vic and Mike are gonna be on my ass about it, too. They found out the day they came home,"

"Good. It's good that you have to people to look out for ya,"

"Right, it's just totally awesome how much they care. I honestly wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for them,"

"Well, I'm very glad that you're alive right now,"

She smiles. "Me, too,"

"Um, can I ask you something?" I change the subject a bit.

"Of course,"

"Uh, when you said you really liked me..."

"Yes, I totally meant it," she cuts me off. "I understand if you don't feel the same way, but I have some feelings for you,"

I try to reply, but I can't find the words.

Her face changes from hopefulness to disappointment.

"Shit.. I'm sorry. I totally get it if you don't feel the same way. I can't believe I just did that, I probably just made you feel so guilty. Please don't feel bad, it's totally.."

I space out while she's rambling on. She likes me. She. Likes. Me. Oh my gosh. I feel a huge smile spread across my face. She stops talking, and looks confused. I decide to go for it. I slide my hands around her waist, lean in, close my eyes and hope for the best.