Just Friends (A Jaime Preciado Fanfiction)

'You Don't Have To Say Anything'

A few days later, Jaime still hasn't said anything to me. I stopped trying, but as I walk out of Physics, I catch a glimpse of his spiky hair. I run down the hall, dodging people to catch up with him.

"Jaime!" I yell. He turns around.

"Hey," he says, quietly, realizing it's me.

"What's up? I haven't talked to you in a while. "

"Nothing, really. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Did you figure out what you needed to?"

"No, I didnt."

"Can I help you? You've seemed kind of distant. Are you mad at me?"

"No, not mad. Just confused."

"About?"

He stops walking abruptly.

"Remember in the car, when I was going to ask you something, but i stopped myself?"

"Yeah.."

"Well, I really need to talk to you about some things.

"Okay? can you hang out after school?"

"Yeah, can I come over?"

"Of course. You're sure we're okay?" I ask and he flashes me a smile. God, I've missed that smile.

"We're okay. I'll explain later. I know I'm acting all weird but..we'll just talk later."

I nod, smile, and head off to my class. I can't stop thinking about it all day. He looked so worried. I think about what Vic said. Maybe I should open up to him.

--JAMIE'S POV--

I check my phone as I walk up the few steps of her porch to her front door. It's 4:30. The time i said I would be here. The time I've been dreading for days. I feel so off right now. It is in no way my place to do what I'm about to do but, there's no way I'm going to continue to watch someone I deeply care about get hurt.

I knock lightly, in case her dad is home. I don't want to give him any reason to get angry. A few seconds pass and the door opens. On the other side stands the person who, as cheesy as this sounds, makes my heart flutter. She smiles at me and I try my best to smile back.

"Hey," she says, softly.

"Hi," I reply, awkwardly. It's never been awkward between us. Maybe I should have just left it alone.

"Come in," she steps aside and I follow her into her bedroom. She sits down on her bed and motions for me to sit next to her. I do.

"Alright..this is really weird. what's up?" she asks.

I take a deep breath and try to remember the words I've been planning for days. But, nothing comes to mind.

"Alright. Um, is your dad home?"

She shakes her head.

"He's at work,"

I nod. "Okay so, when I came to pick you up the other day, I heard some things that I definitely didn't like being said to you. Is your dad always like that?"

I see her face fall and almost regret speaking up.

"Uh, yeah. He is. But, believe me, I've gotten used to it and I've built a thick wall." she replies.

I take this in, realizing how true it is. Not only did she build up a wall against him, but against everybody else, too.

"If you don't mind me asking, where does your mom come in in this situation?"

She runs her teeth over her lower lip, playing with her lip ring. A nervous habit of hers I've noticed. She doesn't respond for a good minute, and I wonder if i should just let it go until I see a single tear roll down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly.

"If you don't want to talk about it-" I start.

"No, it's okay. I've spent my whole life not talking about it. You're my friend, and I want you to know this."

I nod and she begins.

"Well, when I was in 6th or 7th grade, my mom started drinking heavily. Eventually her being an alcoholic turned into her being depressed," she stops for a second and takes and deep breath before she continues. I think about making a gesture, maybe hold her hand or something, but before i can decide, she starts again.

"And then, when I was 13, she killed herself. She always talked about it, but i never thought she'd actually do it. The worst part is, I was kind of relieved. I wasn't as sad as I should have been. I guess I realized that she really wanted to die, and now she could be happy. And the weird thing is, I feel like that all the time. Like, maybe if i was dead I'd be a lot happier," she stops again, wiping away the tears that escaped her brown eyes. As she wipes them away, her makeup smears a bit. I decide to do it. I put my hand in hers and squeeze it. She looks up at me silently, but i can read the appreciation on her face. Hearing this hit me hard. It absolutely breaks my heart that she feel this guilty. Or that she thinks she's better off dead.

"And then," she goes on after she composes herself. "My dad took up drinking after my mom died and I guess he needed someone to blame her death on. That someone is me. I don't think I've gone a day seeing him since then where he hasn't reminded me how much of a failure I am. I always tried my absolute hardest in school, hoping that seeing how well I was doing would make her happy. I didn't realize that nothing would make her happy. A couple years ago, my dad got really mad at me for doing something- I don't even remember what- but he actually pushed me. We both stood there for a few seconds, in shock. My dad was an asshole, but he wasn't abusive. Hurting me built up his confidence, so he started doing it more often. Vic and Mike, who had been there for me since the beginning, found out because I flinched every time they walked by me. All I remember that day was them freaking out and wanting to confront my dad. But, I persuaded them not to because I knew exactly what would happen. My dad would make sure I never saw them again. And I could not deal with that."

I wait for a little bit to make sure she's finished, and then try to find the words to comfort her. Unfortunately, nothing comes to mind due to the initial impact of her words. She must notice me struggling because then she speaks up.

"You don't have to say anything. Just you listening to this is awesome. Thank you." Tears are still streaming down her face.

"You don't have to thank me," I finally find my voice. "I'm really sorry about everything. I'm sure you hear that a lot, and it's such a cliche thing to say, but, I am really sorry. Seriously, if you ever need to talk or get away from here, just call me, my door is always open. I know Vic and Mike can't do anything, but I'm not afraid to kick your dad's ass,"

"Thank you, Jaime. I'm really glad I told you. And honestly, don't worry about my dad, I can handle it,"

I lean in for a hug, hoping to god she's okay with that. Thankfully, she allows herself to be embraced by me, burying her face in my chest. Hugging her feels so beyond amazing. Like this is how it's supposed to be.