The Forgotten Hate || a.b

Chapter Eight: My Darkest Desire

(A/N: Warning: If you are sensitive to cutting, or blood, please do not continue. Please be strong and fight it my loves.)

-2 weeks later-

♥︎Jade's POV♥︎

Me and Andy have gotten closer for the past... Two weeks, I think? We haven't had any fights or drama outbursts since that day.

The one day that seemed to have had a lot of ups and downs, it was just unusually emotional and unbearably dramatic.

Basically school isn't so much of the hell hole as it was before, though there is still the jocks and the basic girls, no surprise there.

But there is one, of my only friends; Paige Nicholson. My only friend up until these last months. "Uh Jade?" I heard someone call, "Yeah?" I groaned tossing myself over on my bed, then I heard footsteps.

Can't you just let me slumber?

"Lizzie..." I heard an annoyingly sweet voice... "Hey best friend!" Andy bursted into my room, attempting a his best high pitched voice.

"My dear child, what has gotten into you?" I sat up on my bed pointing my finger at him while scrunching up my nose, Andy chuckled at my posture.

"Aw, you look so adorable doing whatever the hell you're doing!" Andy gushed as he made his way over to me, I blush a little too hard at the most likely, empty compliment.

"S-shut up!" I told him while throwing a pillow at his head as he sat down near where my feet were lying, "Awh now my little Lizzy is blushing!" He gushed some more, "I hope your enjoying yourself, sack.." I murmured. "Ah just find a guy with bigger 'sacks' then me then call him that," he smirked cockily.

"What the actual hell-" "HEY HEY HEY, no need for that or he will go in balls deep," he winked, "Oh my god, don't you have a girlfriend?!" How the in the actual hell did this turn into a genital conversation?!

"Eh, she doesn't act the one anymore," he murmured then looked down at his fingers and started playing with them. Is he implying that he is broken up with her?

"Are you.. Y'know.. Broken up with her?" I asked gently, "Y-yeah.." He answered back still looking at the ground. I am honestly surprised that he isn't even angry... Knowing how he normally is.

Without even thinking, I scooted up to him and hugged him from the side, "Don't feel bad for me, she isn't the one I really desire," he whispered to me and hugged me back. Oh no...

That sinking feeling again, it's back. "O-oh uh that's good that you are over her so fast.." I mumbled as I quickly released him. "Yeah I guess but I still have another that I want but can never have," he told me as he looked up at me with a weak smile, I didn't bother asking who, or what the girl looked like I just had the strong feeling in my heart that made me want to cry, and I had enough of that already.

So I hurriedly got up and went to the bathroom, once I got in I quickly locked it and looked in the mirror.

My god... My face is a mess scattered with my hair, my hair that is turning into its natural color, a light brown, or poopy brown.

Doesn't make a difference to me. I just looked in the mirror in pure disgust, I hated how ugly I was, I hated my full blue eyes, I hated how fat I am, I hated ME.

That sinking feeling is coming on too hard. Why does Andy not feel the same? Am I just that disgusting? Yes. Yes I am.

I am revolting, no wonder he bullied me, no wonder why everyone hates me. It all makes sense now, I am just a monster that needs to be put in its place: dead.

I felt the hot tears flow down my face at a rapid pace, it wouldn't stop. I searched frantically in the bathroom cabinets and drawers.

I finally found it.

The shiny piece of metal that I have put a end to, and now, I am bringing it back to life.

I put the toilet seat down and sat on it, with my pathetic tears still coming down. I slid the razor on my wrists, I finally felt like I am doing what I was meant to do from the start, kill myself.

I watched as my blood came trickling down my arms as I dug the razor deeper down. The deeper I went the deeper my tears form. "Die, die, die, die, die," I kept whispering to myself. Then, I finally felt a long, never ending, wave of pain.

I looked at my wrist, yes. I hit a vein.

I heard loud banging against the door, then a loud crash, "It's too late.." I laughed weakly, "No... No, no, no, no," they whispered as they picked me up from the seat I was sitting on "No, no, no, Jade, please no... Don't leave me.. I-" I couldn't hear the rest as I slipped into the darkness...
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This chapter was depressing.. Eh I write what I feel :))

But anywhore, vote and comment if you want more and I will see you soon!