HOLD ME TIGHT || JK

CHAPTER 15: I HATE MYSELF

"Thank you ahjumma" You said accepting the food that your next door neighbor shared with you. You had a good sleep in the first day at Seoul. You woke up early in the morning and packed up your stuffs in your new home. You were about to order some foods when you heard your door bell rang. Your next door neighbor is very nice for you and she shared some foods with you. You ate the delicious food she shared with you. After finishing your works you had to do in your house, you've get readied and came out for some shopping. As you have to start going to the university from tomorrow you wanted to buy some stuffs and be familiarized with the city. You've spent about three hours shopping and you were exhausted. You came to your home with the stationeries and the food you brought for yourself. You quickly changed your clothes and sat in front of the TV eating the Ramen you brought.

"Bantan Sonyeondan"

You heard and saw BTS in the TV. You got goosebumps seeing your favorite idols in the TV. You were so happy to see them and to watch them dancing and singing after a long time. But with your stubborn decision and with the careful thought you had given to ignore them and let go of them last night, you've just pretended to yourself that you don't like them and pretended you were not exited to see them. You quickly changed the TV channel. But as for your surprise, the 7 boys again appeared in the next channel with their music video Fake Love.

"Right, I am not living in my country. I am living here in Seoul. Their home country"

Finally you have told to yourself switching off the TV.

_________________________________________

You spent your evening lazily. You have read some books and watched some video clips about your new university. You made a cup of coffee and went to the balcony of your house to observe the outer environment. You thought about lot of things including about your parents, Minho and even about Rachel. After finishing your coffee and spending about half an hour enjoying the scenery, you were about to go inside when you see some familiar 7 faces. You saw a huge poster hang on a building near your apartment. You didn't know why it took a long to see it, but however it was large and clear enough to see it even from your bedroom. You stared at it for a long time unconsciously. Your mind went far away with BTS. Living in Seoul only made it hard for you to let go of BTS. Tears started to fall down from your eyes. You kept your mug on the balcony. You sat down on the floor near the balcony. You kept your head on your knees and started to cry out loudly. You wished that you're the girl who used to like and love BTS. You thought you're the girl who used to spare all of your time on BTS. You wished if you're the girl who used to be an army without any hesitations. You cried hard for a long time. You thought if there's someone by your side who can give a hug and pat your head and say it's ok. But it's not like that and you're the girl who have no one by your side and who lost your confidence. You hated for being who you are. You wanted to run out from yourself. But you couldn't do any of those and you were still crying sitting on the floor, hiding your face.

After some time, you raised your head as you heard your phone buzzing on the table inside the house. You got up and went to the phone. It was Minho calling you. First you thought to decline the all. But however you answered your phone, wiping your tears and adjusting your voice.

"H...hello" You asked struggling to hide your sad voice.

"[Y/N].....wait, did you cry?" Minho asked after hearing to your broken voice.

"Oh....n...no." You said with a much struggle.

"Stop lying. I can tell that you've cried. So tell me what happened without making me worrying" Minho said calmly.

"Minho.....I am telling you the truth. I didn't cry. I....I was just suffering from headache. And I suppose that's the reason" You said hoping that Minho will buy it.

"Oh.....Is that so? I wish I am with you. Did you get any pills? Go and have a sleep. It will make you feel better" Minho said with a worried voice.

"Ahm....yeah...I got some. I will sleep then. It will make me feel better" You said cursing yourself for lying to your best friend Minho.

"Ok. Go and have a sleep and if there's something please tell me. Ok?"

"Of course I will. But why did you call? Is there...."

"It's nothing important. I just wanted to check on you. Now go and have a sleep" Minho said cutting off you.

"Ok. I will call you later" You said ending the phone call.

After the phone call you went straightly to the wash room and washed your face. After changing your clothes to a pajama, you went straightly to the bed without even having your dinner.

[A/N]

Hello everyone. This is the 15th chapter of my book. Thank you so much for reading it and I hope you all liked it.