HOLD ME TIGHT || JK

CHAPTER 48: LOST ME

There was a moment of silence between you two. Neither you nor Jungkook spoke anything.

"It was always hard for me" You said breaking the silence. "It was not easy for me to lose my family. Giving up on you. Getting mocked by all the one's around me. None of that was easy for me"

Jungkook didn't say anything and continued to listen at you.

"Everyone saw me as a burden after my parent's death. None of my relatives wanted to take my responsibility. All of them threw me away. My parents meant world to me. Imagine losing your whole world and being all alone without anyone to rely on....I had to endure all the pain alone. I wanted to kill myself number of times seeing how people have started to see me. There wasn't at least a single person who has comforted me expect for you 7. I...." You stopped talking and started to cry.

Jungkook came closer to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed your head on his chest.

"The only thing kept me away from my decisions and going on was BTS. What you have always said was valuing one's self. Loving for who we are. But seeing myself getting weak day by day because of what other's thought of me and how they treated on me....wanted to give up on you. Wanted to let go of everything. I...It was so hard for me. Only I know how hard I cried the day I decided to let of you. It was so hard but I wanted to do it. After the way I am getting treated and losing everything I really wanted to do it. I felt like I don't deserve you and can't become that strong person whom I always wanted to be"

"All the people, including the person whom I always thought would be with me till the end had turned away. I was so weak and broken. I didn't have anyone until Minho came into my life. He has always cheered me up whenever I felt down. He has become my comfort and happiness. He has become my friend, brother and even like my father. He has took a good care of me. But the empty space of my parents and you always has been within me"

"When I had got to study at South Korea, I didn't know whether to be happy or sad as you was going to be there. I always wanted to stay within the wall I made for myself. I've never wanted to come out from it. But when we met that day, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry out of happiness. But all of limitations prevented me from it. I never wanted to see yourself as a broken me. So I did treat you rudely. Even though the deep inside me has said something else"

You stood up straight and wiped your tears. This was the first time you opened up yourself for someone after so many years. You felt a slight relief from all what you've said.

"It was not you [Y/N]. You shouldn't love yourself and value yourself just because someone else has said it. It is something that has to be done with your own thoughts. And there's no such a thing like what you think. You have to see yourself from your eyes [Y/N]. Not from anyone else's. Letting go of us, letting go of all the things you had within you...letting go of YOURSELF........it was not you. None of our lives has been easy for us. You know how hard we all have suffered. So don't think this as something that has only happened to you" Jungkook said gently.

"I..."

"You have been fighting against all of these. It doesn't matter who or what has been the reason. You're the one who has been fighting and struggling....so isn't it great? Doesn't that mean you're strong?" Jungkook said cutting you off.

Your heart moved at his words. For the first time in your life you felt happy for not giving up.

"Life is all about gaining and loosing [Y/N]. When you lose something, there are number of other good things waiting for you to come and take them. You lost your parents, but didn't it give you an amazing human in your life? Didn't it give you a chance to identify the real people? Didn't it give a chance for you to meet BTS? And most importantly didn't it give us a chance? You made it [Y/N]...and you're going to make it" Jungkook said with a soft smile on his face.

Tears are falling down from your eyes continuously but not out of sorrow, but out of happiness.

"Thank you" You whispered letting the tears fall from your eyes as much as they want.

"Can I ask you something?" Jungkook asked wiping your tears away with his thumb.

You nodded your head in response.

"Do you really love me? For the ordinary Jeon Jungkook?"

There was a moment of silence before you spoke.

You nodded your head with a small smile.

"Yeah. For the ordinary you. For the person who made me smile even it for a day. For the person who helped me to find my lost self. I love for the ordinary masked boy who is sitting beside me. Even he is BTS Jungkook or actor Jungkook....it doesn't matter me. I love JEON JUNGKOOK" You said with a smile and a courage than before.

Jungkook smiled and hugged you tightly.

"Then please know that you don't need to be sorry for loving me"

[A/N]

Hope you all have enjoyed the chapter.