HOLD ME TIGHT || JK

CHAPTER 21: PAIN

"Mm...it's, yesterday you dropped this. So I found your name from this"

Jungkook said handing you your university ID.

"I came to return you this" He said looking directly into your eyes.

You was super shocked with his kindness. Even though you didn't notice that you have lost your ID, you've never expect him to return it to you. He is an idol and you was just an ordinary girl. So his action completely shocked you.

"Umm.....Did I drop this? Th....Thank you" You said taking your ID back from his hands.

"It's nothing. How's your arm now? Did you put medicine to it?" Jungkook asked making your surprise again from his kindness.

"Ye...Yeah....It's fine now and thank you" You said avoiding his eye contact.

There was a moment of silence and you could feel his eyes on you.

"What am I doing?" You mentally slaped yourself.

"I...I'll go now. Thank you for the ID and you should go as well" You said turning back.

"Wait...[Y/N]" Jungkook said stopping you.

Jungkook made you halt your steps again.

"I should not do this. This is not right. I should act rude but why can't I do it? Why he's been coming to my life when I decided to let go of everything? I don't deserve him. But why is it so hard to stop everything?"

There were a million of thoughts in your mind. You wanted to be the normal fan girl who used to be but at the same time you knew you couldn't. Tears started to fall down from your cheek.

While you were fighting with your own self Jungkook came standing in front of you. You quickly turned away and wiped your tears and even though Jungkook saw it, he pretended that he didn't see anything.

"What?" You turned back and asked him.

"As you know it's our vacation. So I was wondering whether you can have a walk with me?" Jungkook said looking carefully at you.

"What? No I don't want" You said rudely without a second thought.

Jungkook seemed to be surprised but he remained calm.

"So....You're not an army?" Jungkook asked looking at your eyes.

This is the chance.

"No of course not. I am not an army and I hate you and BTS" You said simply rudely with blurry eyes.

"Ok. But why are you crying?"

Tears were falling down from your cheeks and you didn't notice it until he says.

You quickly turned away and started walking.

"Why? Why it have to be me always? Why the things are not working well on me? This is so embarrassing. Why did I born like this?"

You started sobbing while moving away from Jungkook.

"There's something going on with her. I can say she lied but why is she doing that? Those eyes those tears they clearly meant something" Jungkook thought while looking at you who is still crying and walking fastly away from him.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

At [Y/N]'s apartment.

"Mom..Dad why did you leave me alone? Why didn't you take me with you? This is so hard. I want to feel the warmth of you both. I want to hold both of yours hands. I want to hug you and cry till all of these get passed from me. Mom......" You were crying so hard sitting on the floor of your room. You were crying till the moment you came home and you felt like that you couldn't bear this pain.

"I hate.....I hate this feeling, I hate my life and I hate myself. I love him. I love him from the deep bottom of my heart. I met him and he talked with me and took care of me. But still.......still I couldn't talk with him well. I couldn't look at his eyes freely. I hate myself. This past, this weakness why did I have to be born like this?"

You was crying so hard until you fell asleep on the floor.

You again woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. It was already night and you quickly picked up to see who is calling. It was Minho. First you hesitated to pick it, but then you answered the phone.

"Hello" You said standing up and switching on the lights.

"Hello [Y/N]"

You was afraid that Minho will identify your changed voice, but his voice also similar to you.

"[Y/N], I was wandering what you're up to. Did you have the dinner?" Minho asked as usual, but you felt like that there wasn't something right. You wanted so badly to ask him about everything. But with you was so tired with all the crying.

You did not have any interest to talk with him about usual stuffs in your state either. You wanted some time alone. So you decided to hang up the call and call him tomorrow.

"Minho.....I am not feeling well. I'm sorry, shall I call you tomorrow? I need some time"

"Ok. Call me tomorrow, I'm waiting" Minho said without any further questions, understanding you as always.

"Thank you"

"Good night [Y/N]"

"Good night Minho"

[A/N]

Hello guys.....how are you all? I am so sorry for this boring chapter. But don't worry, I promise, the next chapters are going to be great. So please enjoy.