THE LAST OF US IMAGINES

Why Would You Choose Me

   A/N - This imagine is two-shot one so I hope you like this <3 Also you can find this on Tumblr and soon I'm going to publish it on AO3 as well. You can Always send your requests to me! 

   Plot- Reader has a crush on Joel but cannot tell him but in the end she bursts through her feelings and decides to explain to him how she feels for him.

None Warnings.

     It was raining peacefully that night. It was as if it knew your mood, but at the same time supported you. As if to say cry. So how did you come to this situation? I guess it would be better to say: Who made you so madly upset? The answer is Joel Miller. Yes, isn't it strange? Maybe no one knew him to a close degree, and yes you didn't either, but you were sure he didn't offend anyone the way you did. Everything happened in the evening of the day we are now. Like everyone else, you excitedly decided to go on a family event organized by Maria to relieve the stress of patrolling. You and Ellie and Dina had met the day before and promised to go together, but in order to leave the lovebirds alone, you decided at the last moment to stop going with them and go with Jesse. Of course, there was another situation, and no one but you knew about it, and you swore not to tell it. How could you say such a thing? "ahh hey yes I love someone older than me and as if that wasn't enough Ellie, I love your stepdad, how wonderful isn't it? "It would be better if you had a face-to-face conversation. But it wasn't just that. The reason you felt so bad was because Joel had someone he loved. Esther. You didn't know how well they knew each other, but they were standing pretty close and it was something that made you unhappy. It wouldn't be good to separate lovers. Let's say Joel chose you, what would Esther think of you? What about Ellie? No one else's opinion would bother you except the opinion of your best friend. But Ellie... The expression on her face as she yelled at you flashed before your eyes. But keeping it inside was worse for you. Your love for Joel was constantly growing. Every time you saw him, your heart was beating like it was going to explode. Maybe you were obsessed, but you were sure before that you never felt this way for anyone. Your thoughts were tearing you apart.

  Luckily you managed to get rid of it because there was a loud knock on your door. "I'm coming!" you shouted as you rushed to the door after you had straightened your clothes. Of course you didn't expect Jesse to stop in front of you because you had decided to meet him at the corner of the cemetery because he needed to ask Joel for something and you said you could go there knowing how tired he was and also hoping to see him. Joel knew you, and he knew you were a very successful patrolman because everyone was praising you so much at meetings. He had spoken to you several times, but never had a chance to go on patrol together. Jesse waved his own hand in front of your face as I thought that if you had gone you probably wouldn't have been able to hold back and told him what was inside, but you were content with the thoughts Joel was in. "I think you're ready and I'm taking you on my arm. Ahh, of course if you can leave your thoughts. "Seeing the horrifying expression on your face, Jesse burst out laughing. You said "sir yes I'm ready you can take me" and you chuckled. You put your arm around Jesse's shoulder and closed the door behind you happily and unaware of what was going to happen that evening. When you came to the hall where the event was held, everyone had already taken their places. "See we're late because of your thoughts," Jesse said and gave a fake pout. You tapped him on the shoulder and chuckled. "I was happy with the thoughts you mentioned, but I listened to you so I wouldn't keep you waiting." Jesse gave you a sure-footed look and grinned. After your speech, your eyes began to search for that person. And you've seen him. Your heart started beating fast again. You didn't care about the people around you. It was as if everyone around you had disappeared, it was just you and him. His eyes, too, wandered around the hall and hovered over you, as if searching for someone specific.

  Yours!! Oh my god, panic was all over you, you didn't know where to put your hands. You thought you were imagining his greeting, but it was real. Jesse nudged your arm with his arm and leaned towards you to drown out the music. "I think Joel is calling us and I don't see other people either, I think we should go to them, what do you say?" After shaking your head yes, you came to their seat and sat right next to Joel. You looked around the table and noticed something. If Esther wasn't at this table right now and you were with Joel, the family would be complete. Because you had dreams of having a beautiful life with him. As you just sat there not knowing what to say, you heard a voice shouting behind you, and when you turned to see who it was, you saw it was Ellie. "We thought you were going to come with us, who did you come with?" You laughed and said briefly Jesse, but you didn't forget to make suggestive facial expressions. Ellie rolled her eyes at this, but it was clear that she was delighted. She took his eyes off you and started talking to Joel. You watched Joel talk to her. You had the opportunity to examine every part of his face one by one. It took a while before you saw the squinting of his eyes as he laughed, the shape of his mouth, the veiny hand on the table, and the very hand that he had thrown over the head of the chair. After Ellie left, he turned her head to you and winked.     Joel winked at you. That was it. You were too impatient to contain your contents tonight. You were just waiting for the evening to progress a bit. In the following minutes, the conversation at the table was getting darker and you found yourself in what they were talking about. Even though you've never spoken to Esther, you realize that her conversation is good. You were more comfortable talking to Joel now, and maybe it was the effect of the alcohol. And in the last minutes before the event, you were waiting for a sign from him to reveal your love for Joel so that you could understand that you were the only one who didn't love him. No. He was with Esther. He didn't even care about you, but there was no point in keeping it inside. He didn't give you a sign or anything, but you were feeling more courageous now because of the alcohol.

  Finally, Joel got up and walked over to where the toilets were, and you took the opportunity to get up and started walking towards it with not too hasty but not too slow steps. Your legs were shaking and you didn't know what to say to him. As you tried to gather the sentences in your head, your excitement increased even more. Of course you wouldn't go into the men's room and you would wait at the door. After a moment of excitement you saw him come out the door and took a step towards him, you were already by the door and stopped right in front of Joel because of one extra step you took. He was looking at you with a frown, and his gesture made you even more excited. "Is there a problem Y/N" You said, "You are my problem," Joel, and tried to speak without stuttering. "Yeah uhm.. Can we talk please. I mean outside. It's uhh.. It's important so.." He nodded vaguely yes and pointed to the door. Watching him from behind, you watched how wide his shoulders and how muscular his arms were. When you get to the place where no one is in sight, he nodded as I am listening. There was no response. You were going to say it and it would be over but this time seemed too long for you so you listened to the words come out of your mouth. Your heart spoke and you listened. with Joel. ''The thing is Joel.. I don't want you to think I'm a bad person because I didn't want to feel like this and I really don't know how to say this and I have never told anything like this. I like you Joel. And I know that you're with Esther but I just wanted to say this because I can't keep this to myself anymore. Seeing you everytime everywhere makes me feel like I'm gonna puke but in a good way. You may think I'm too young for you and I do know I'll never have chance with you because you're with Esther.     "You wanted to say more, but your heart said enough and remained silent. The man who was looking at you was looking at you with meaningless expressions. He frowned and cleared his throat. He began to speak, looking straight into your eyes.

 ''I don't know what you want me to say or do but like you said you're young and no I don't have chance with you because I'm with Esther. "His words were so heavy and it hurt you to hear it from his mouth. He said a lot of heavy things to you after that speech, and you listened. After you finished speaking, you left without wiping your tears and letting them flow, and went home to the only safe and peaceful place where you were safe at that moment.