Love and grief. Mother Miranda x Reader

I just love you so much

Chapter 12

My heart rate picked up, and not because of Miranda standing in front of me,but because of what she did earlier this morning, she hit me, because she can't control her fucking anger issues.

I realized I was holding my breath, and let it out. I had several emotions strung tight inside me, disappointment and fear at the top of the list.

"Hey Y/n." You choose not to reply, turning your face the other way around.

"I'm sorry" she said while sitting on the bed next to you, grabbing you by your chin and lifting your head up so she could look into your eyes.

"I would never want to hurt you, Y/n. I didn't know it looked like that..."

"It's not the black eye that hurts...Miranda"

"I haven't been trying really hard to control my temperament, alright?"

"Look at this." You said pointing your right eye. "You call that controlling your temper?"

Miranda's Pov:

I truly wanted to die the moment i saw her face, i'm a monster, she means everything to me. I don't know why i'm like this. After everything she has done for me... I also noticed that she is working on something to bring my Eva back, I just don't know how to tell her that I know. I've been trying to control myself but its hard, I'm afraid. I don't want to lose her, yet what do I do about it? Punch her, great Miranda such a keeper. Why does everything have to be so fucking hard when it comes to deal with my emotions?. The only person that ever loved me, and this is how I pay to her.

"Forgive me? Please?" I'm really sorry I hurt you, Y/n..." I said while I wiped the tears growing in her eyes.

"I know I push you a lot Miranda ,I know I said some terrible things to you about your past, I admit it...but I'm not so sure how I feel about all this now that you've physically hurt me like this..."

"I'm so sorry, give me one last chance Y/n. If I hurt you again, physically or psychologically... you have every right to leave me." My lack of touch is awful I know, I can't really talk to people. I find it so hard.

"Will it make you feel better to punch me back?"

"Get the hell out of here... Miranda"

"Come on.  Just punch me one real good and we can call it even then."

"I'm not hurting you Miranda. Stop it already before I send you to the tent with my boss and my co-workers."

"Go ahead".

"You think?"

"What if smash my head against the wall right now. Will that make you feel better?"

"You know what Miranda?  I don't just don't have the energy to deal with you right now. I've been working all day with a damn project for you. I'm exhausted."

I moved closer to Y/n and brushed a few stray pieces of hair from her face, then I secured my arms around her. We were sitting on the bed, in her bedroom, and she was leaning back against me. I rocked her gently, murmuring soothing sounds in her ear.

"Does that feel good?" I said in her ear.

"You know the answer, you know that I'm going to forgive you always. I always do." she said rolling her eyes.

"I know I've already said this but i'm so sorry I did this to you, please don't hate me. Will you forgive me?"

"I don't know Miranda. This is toxic, we are..."

"Why?"

"Cause whenever someone hurts me deep, the way that you've done, it takes me a while to forget and sometimes there's no going back."

"What? Are you leaving me?"

"If you keep pushing me, I definitely will!"

"That's bullshit!"

"Damn it, Miranda!. Quit acting like a child when it comes to things like this. You gave me a black eye and almost broke my damn elbow. What do you really think? . You're lucky I'm even speaking to your dumb ass right this instant."

"Fine!  Do what you want Y/n"

"Fine!"

"Fine."

"Just let go of me then!".

"Not until you tell me if you at least forgive me for what I have done?" I said holding her closer to me so she couldn't scape from my arms.

"YES, I forgive you Miranda, Jesus"

"For real? You like... forgive me for it?

"Miranda, for the last time girl...I forgive you. Don't make me change my mind. Ok?"

"Alright...I'll take that. I love you." Wait did I really just said that? I was never able to tell that to her , I felt her smiling, and I gasped. It felt too good.

"Wh-what? You've never said that to me", she said. Her eyes were glowing, I don't deserve her.

Those words were resonating in my mind. Even though I caused so much pain to her she is still there, holding my hand after all this years, so fragile, so...perfect.

Without warning, I flung myself into her arms. I pressed her against the wall with the force of my kiss. A shudder of relief rippled through her, and I sank my fingers into her shirt, dragging her against me, needing her close in a way I never had before. Her mouth pressed and tasted mine. We made out that night.
I was falling in love and that scared me more than anything...

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A/N

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