Love and grief. Mother Miranda x Reader

I won't hurt you, i promise.

Chapter 15

Miranda's house

I knew Miranda was at her lab, she would usually come back at midnight. I was exhausted to go to her lab, and I needed to heal my wound before getting an infection.

At Miranda's bedroom I was opening every drawer,  looking for first aid or something similar. I stood in place, absorbing the sight. We would always sleep in the guest room, Miranda keeps her private things to herself, even to me. I wasn't allowed to be here. My attention was drawn to her wardrobe, it was impeccably organized, black dresses on wood hangers. Two jackets, some folded t-shirts . I even found a pair of flip-flops? This is so funny 'Mother Miranda owns flip-flops?' I laughed . The woodsy scent of roses and expensive perfume lingered in the air. Not what I was expecting. I wondered how I was the only one with this privilege. I wondered if there even was an end to the many sides of her. The more I thought I knew Miranda, the more the mystery deepened.

The room is quite big, a king size bed placed meticulously in the middle, blue silk sheets.A chandelier hanging down from the ceiling, dark walls, wooden floor. Her nightstand was decorated with a picture of me. In her drawer I found sleeping pills, scissors, a diary, sedatives and bandages. I covered my wound with a bandage after disinfecting it and I felt asleep on her bed.

Miranda came home a few hours later to find Y/n sleeping peacefully in her bed. She was about to complain, but she was sleeping so peacefully...
A loud murmur of complaint came from Y/n's mouth . Miranda kissed Y/n forehead and laid next to her.

But of course, Miranda could not conciliate sleep. Overthinking became her best friend , and the weather outside wasn't helping. She sat up, carefully not to wake her up, looking at Y/n her body was full of hickeys and a few red scratches on her back, remaining from the last night. Miranda smiled but when she saw the black eye again... it felt like a dagger in her heart. She turned around and brushed some unruly strands of blonde hair from her face.

Y/n was beautiful, in the way most greek goddesses were described in those old myths. She winced as she slowly turned around, and continued to sleep.

Miranda finally decided to go downstairs. Near the fireplace she sat on the floor, her eyes falling close for a moment. Again, her mind playing painful games with her...she remembered how she hated her ex-husband, hated him deeply, and yet he had loved her. He was disgustingly older than her. She had still hated him in his last moments. Then the idea of Y/n taken away by Alcina made her blood boil. Y/n is so innocent, she doesn't even pay attention the way Alcina looks at her, with adoration, lust, desire, just waiting for the right time to get what she wants. But what if Y/n is better with her?.I mean she's not a normal human but at least she didn't kill an entire village, or cheated on her, or hit her?. Everytime Y/n went to that damn castle Miranda couldn't help but to get drunk, alone at her own home or lab. Did Y/n loved her they way she did before?

How much did Miranda love her was sublime, after all this years their connection remained strong, powerful. But then again the simple thought of hurting her was the simple reason why her heart would shatter into a thousand pieces.

Miranda keeps things in. Emotions.  Life turned her that way. She just has a hard time opening up to someone. If there's a moment of light when she opens up with someone, she gets irritated and closes off. You know, being in that state of vulnerability, it's not a place where she likes to be because she feels like she's not in control. She is not sure if she truly trust anyone in her life. It's sort of a protective shield she's put up and it only gets stronger with time. But then there was Y/n, her soft spot, her weakness.
"Miranda? What are you doing here at 4 a.m?" I said rubbing my eyes, walking down the stairs.

"Oh, i didn't mean to wake you up" she said with her gaze still in the fire, her arms wrapping her legs.

You went forwards her and sat on the wooden floor next to her. You wrapped her in the comfort of your arms and she leaned her head to your chest. You tried to fix her messy blonde hair but she stopped you.

"Miranda why won't you let me touch you? I'm trying but you make it so hard for me." You said.

"What do you prefer? Going to the cinema? Flowers? Teddy bears?. It's not something I do, Y/n" She said pulling away giving her back to you.

"Miranda"

"Why! What are you doing to me? I hate it! I'm not like this, you're changing me I-I! I hate you!" She said unable to control her emotions, once again.

"Miranda... let me in, I won't hurt you I promise." You said moving closer and hugging her again. She remained still but then she just accepted it.

"No"

"I know it's hard Miranda, and you are doubting my love towards you. I don't say it everyday but I love you". Miranda's eyes widened and she tried to hide it by turning her face to the other side, but the smirk growing on her face, was unable to hide.

"No you don't, I'm not someone who's loved".

"I love you Miranda, I love your beautiful blue eyes, the twinkle in your eyes when something goes the way you wanted. I know, it wasn't easy in fact, it was very hard, for both of us. We were too comfortable thinking that we were always going to be together. I wish we didn't have to go through that, we have hurt each other. But if you could see you through my eyes, Miranda...
I will love you until my very last breath". A shy smile formed in Miranda's face, she tried to hide it but she couldn't.

"I- love"
"you" she said looking to your hands, avoiding eye contact.

"Y/n?" She said furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes?"

"What's that?" She carefully touched your shoulder and you winced in pain.

"Well, I- i was trying to save Donna so I received the bullet for her. But don't worry I'll be fine" Miranda clenched her fists and her face changed completely.

"Who? Who did this to you, and don't waste your time trying to lie. You know I can read your mind."

"Miranda... it's ok. Look I'm fine" you said trying to calm her down. You were scared for Ethan, he proved himself to be an idiot, but an angry Miranda was not something you'll ever wish to someone, not even your worst enemy.

"Ethan Winters right?"

"Umm...no"

"What did I tell you about lying to me?"

"Please Miranda, my people placed the tent here, don't do anything stupid."

"I can't promise that"

You moved to the couch behind you and felt asleep with her, worried but at least happy to be in her arms. You sobbed into her black shirt, twisting your fingers into it.