sarah paulson mental health one shots

chicken noodle soup

cordelia goode - chicken noodle soup
content warning : calorie counting, anorexia, body dysmorphia, bodychecking, specific numbers
authors note : i know i said i was done with cordelia ed stories but here we are so. also cordelia already knows about your ed in this story and has been trying to help you through it

-

you were having one of those breakdowns again. the ones where you had low blood sugar from not eating, so not only did you have a pounding headache but you were also a miserable bitch.

"y/n, are you eating?" cordelia knocked on your door.

"no." you replied coldly.

you heard her footsteps become more distant as she walked away.

only a few minutes later, you could hear her footsteps come closer again.

"it's your turn to do the dishes, y/n." it wasn't cordelia, it was zoe.

"i didn't even use any, someone else can do it."

"it's your turn, you know we take turns for a reason."

"leave me alone."

"please come do the dishes."

"i swear to god if you don't leave me alone!" you were yelling at her for no reason.

zoe left your room and you could hear indistinct whispers coming from the hallway, and then your door opened.

"have you eaten today y/n?" cordelia stepped into your room.

"why do you always make everything about that?!"

it was irritating that you couldn't be angry or upset without her blaming it on your eating habits, even if she was right. and you had eaten, it wasn't a sufficient amount but it was something. and it had brought you just below your daily calorie intake.

"because it's the reason you're acting like this."

you rolled your eyes and turned away from her.

"let's go."

"what?"

"let's go." she was pointing her finger out the door.

"no."

"now y/n." her tone was cold and stern, which meant you should listen.

you stood up from your bed and followed her downstairs and into the kitchen.

"find something to eat."

you huffed and walked to a cabinet, pulling out a can of low-calorie chicken soup. after you opened the lid, you measured up exactly a cup, adding up to sixty calories. you could feel cordelia's gaze chastising how controlling you were being. it was taking everything in her to not say something to you, but she knew it would only make things worse. you emptied the measuring cup into a small pan that was heating on the stove and watched as it began to sizzle.

"y/n you need to-" cordelia began to say something.

"stop it! leave me alone! my god!" you were screaming and she was left speechless.

not knowing what to do, she came to you and pulled you into her arms from behind. you began to sob, leaning back into her embrace. she held you there for a few minutes, the both of you sobbing.

"okay baby." cordelia sniffled. "let's eat, alright?"

you nodded and glanced over at the soup, it now being finished.

"can you have some crackers with it?"

you sighed and grabbed some, not having energy to argue. glancing at the nutrition label, you pulled out five crackers. seventy calories, and sixty for the soup. you sat down at the table with your soup and crackers, cordelia sitting next to you with her full-calorie soup and uncounted amount of crackers. the two of you ate in silence as you tried to get your brain to stop. you knew that you shouldn't be sitting at a table crying over 130 calories. you knew that you shouldn't know that a single saltine cracker had fourteen calories. you knew you shouldn't be ruining your own life and the lives of those around you.

"okay, i think you should get some rest." cordelia rubbed your back.

it was nine pm.

"can you lay with me?"

"of course."

cordelia followed you to your room and you crawled into bed, her crawling in behind you.

"i'm sorry for being so harsh earlier." cordelia whispered as she stroked your head.

"i'm sorry for acting like i did."

"i know."

-

authors note : i hate how this came out but the concept was good so who cares ? me but whatever