sarah paulson mental health one shots

breathe

ally mayfair richards - breathe
content warning : anxiety, anxiety/panic attack

-

you were in the grocery store alone, completing a simple task. all you had to do was pick up some bananas and a loaf of bread. you had told ally that you could go on your own, no matter how many times she insisted that she could come with you. but it was sunday, and it was busy. people filled every isle, suffocating you. the store around you began to spin and tears started filling your eyes as your heart rate accelerated. all you had to do was grab the bread, and pay. something so simple felt so impossible. you didn't know what to do. you wanted to call ally, but you didn't want to inconvenience her and you wanted to prove that you could do things on your own. you decided that making it out of the grocery store without passing out was more important than proving some point to ally. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your phone and tapped ally's contact.

"baby?"

"a-ally?"

"hey, are you okay?"

"no." you admitted.

"okay, what do you have left to do?"

"i just have to get the b-bread."

"okay, forget the bread. just go to the closest register and pay."

"no, you told me oz wanted french toast tomorrow."

"i can go to the store in the morning and get bread honey."

you felt like such an idiot.

"i'm in line."

"okay, good."

you were still hyperventilating and were trying your hardest to hold back tears.

"try and take one deep breath for me."

you inhaled shakily and exhaled fast.

"try one more."

you took another deep breath, this one coming in and out a little easier.

"okay, keep doing those for me."

you took three more, and your breathing began to become normal again. your heart was still racing though, and it was going to take more than deep breaths to bring you down.

"i'm gonna pay. i'll see you when i get home."

you hung up on ally without even giving her the chance to say bye. you paid and made your way out of the store and into your car. as soon as you got into your car, you broke down into tears and began to hyperventilate. you drove off, trying to breathe.

when you got home, ally was waiting for you on the porch.

"i'm sorry ally."

"hey, hey. don't apologize."

"i can't even fucking get bread from the store."

"it's not your fault, baby."

she pulled you into a hug and your breathing immediately began to slow.

"i'm here now. you're okay."