The book of life: Evolution of my self through incarnation 33

Peak of transformation

I believe the peak of my transformation occurred about the middle of year 2018. I'm not sure when it started but I do know that prior to it I was desperately trying to change my self (I believe this may be a common precursor to transformation if not part of it). I actually was aware of the [relative] flaws (ie. feelings of jealousy) I had as a polarized man for some time. I really didn't like these properties of polarized people and I was convinced I can change but no matter how hard I tried to prevent the manifestation of these flaws I wasn't able to block or erase the feelings completely. The external effect was there but the change was fake (although I do recall that sometimes it felt real but that didn't last long). Polarized people generally strongly believe in absolute causality but I wouldn't say this was a trigger of transformation rather correlated with it while I was relatively destined for transformation.

Even though I consider myself a completely different man now I can still say that the person before transformation was still me. I was just burdened with diseases of polarization which were clouding or shielding the core of my intellect. Now, it's vice versa, polarization is subdued and neutrality dominates.

This is something I cannot say for the peak of transformation - I was simply not the same person at the time. I believe my soul was in a state of superposition, a relatively unstable state which the soul must pass through between the discrete eigenstates.

Note that the soul should be passing trough this state at the moments of death and conception. So now one can generalize - these are all nothing but moments of soul transformation, difference is in the coupled body. About the age of 36 I died, but I was reborn in the same body.

Confirming this hypothesis is the moment of lost consciousness that I lived through during the time (this has never happened to me before). I was in a house standing next to a stove, at one point I simply blacked out and collapsed hitting the stove hard with my chin. I remember I wasn't concerned about this at all. When I regained consciousness I just stood up, went to the bathroom, washed the dripping blood and continued with my life like nothing happened.

I believe every real prophet (ie. Jesus, Moses, Muhammad) had lived through this state of superposition and it is that state that allows the god to use him as an instrument to speak through. When I look back, I really was speaking like a prophet at times, at times loudly announcing the apocalypse. I was relatively delusional, overwhelmed by synchronicity, I was convinced the world is going to end on 2018.07.01, and I announced the end to some of my friends (I even said I was never so sure about anything as I was sure about this - obviously, I certainly had convinced myself in this date if not my friends).

My plan was to stop eating one month before that day and stop drinking three days before the day so I can die.. pure? I don't know. Obviously the plan didn't work, I remember that at some point I started getting signals that this is wrong and I shouldn't carry on. The world didn't end then but I never really stopped analyzing my behavior from that time. Was I announcing the world's end or the end of my world, my life? Because, obviously, by the plan, my world would really end some time around 2018.07.01.

Note that 2018.07.01 probably should be considered the peak of my transformation, or the end. Relatively I did die that day and was reborn. If what happened before could be characterized as the 2nd coming of Christ, this was resurrection. From that point on, I was no longer acting as a prophet speaking in the name of god, but I definitely was now a neutral man, in symbiosis with god.

If one is too describe the process of transformation in the language of mathematics (or geometry), it would be a pulse of strong evolution, an exponentially rising curve dropping sharply after reaching the peak, with equilibrium states before and after the peak representing different energy levels.

Whatever the case, in prophecies, especially apocalyptic ones, days are commonly not the days we are used to. These are days relative to the god (or possibly a 3rd party speaking in the name of god) whose soul is much more massive than ours and for whom thus time moves slower (relative to us) so one day counts many of our days.

But if I was relatively wrong about the date, with all things considered, I wasn't wrong about the coming apocalypse in near future. However, there is a good reason why there are so many predictions of apocalypse bearing false dates. If polarized people would know the exact date of the apocalypse they could take action to avoid it. And that would not be good for the development of the god (the effect would be equivalent to blocking neurogenesis in human embryos) and them too in the long-term. It is quite possible that different false dates are deliberately, even if unconsciously, propagated through various prophets in order to prevent for the proper date to be taken seriously once it comes up with advancement of intelligence. For the same reason the 2nd coming of Christ is likely to pass largely unnoticed (explaining why my prophetism didn't last long) until it is too late. Newton was effectively aware of this, saying:

"It is not for us to know the times and seasons which God has put in his own breast."

So, hopefully, no one will believe the [correct?] prediction we made applying scientific method...Message decryptedAs I've mentioned already, I was much bothered by the date 2018.07.01 (July 1st, 2018). Why did I insist that the world (or my life) will end on that particular date and why did I pronounce it publicly? I knew there must be a deeper meaning behind it even if the date was wrong. I've tried to crack it multiple times but to no avail. And then, on Good Friday, 2023.04.07, it all suddenly made sense.

According to my hypotheses on reincarnation, traumatic experiences of past incarnations are commonly re-experienced (to some degree). I also believe one of the past incarnations of my soul was J. Christ. On 2018.07.01 I was exactly 36 years and 10 months old. Assuming that Jesus died at the same age, subtracting this age from the date of his death (33.04.03) one obtains a date of birth at the very beginning of July, 4 BC. I believe thus that the Jesus was born on -4.07.01 or a couple (2-3) of days after. The correlation in numbers between all these dates and the fact that I figured this out on Good Friday (when crucifixion and death of Jesus is commemorated) reveals a signal strongly suggesting this is indeed the correct interpretation of my peculiar apocalyptic rant near the end of my transformation.