Diamond Eyes

Chapter 42

•Biggio, Switzerland

I stared at my naked body in front of the bathroom mirror. I gently touched my chest and felt my scar. I smiled when I didn't feel nothing at all.

It's been three years.

Three years since I've been gone.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kinayang mabuhay. The bullet that was shot at me was a few centimeters beside my heart. I just feel thankful that I was given another chance at life.

The face of Miguel still haunts me in my dreams. Sobrang natatakot pa rin ako sa kanya. I didn't think he'd go this far just because of jealousy. Swerte rin siya at nabuhay pa siya kahit ilang bala ang tumama sa kanya. As far as I know, he's in jail and is undergoing psychotherapy. The thought of me marrying another man made him depressed and enraged.

My family cut our ties with them. Alam kong wala silang kasalanan but they cannot erase the fact that their son attempted to kill me. Kung ay Diyos daw ay mapagpatawad, bakit daw hindi kami, hindi ako?

Hindi naman kasi ako Diyos.

It took me months to recover and I was experiencing so much pain both physical and emotional. Paminsan tinatanong ko pa ang sarili ko kung ano ba ang nagawa ko sa kanya para gawin niya sa akin 'to. Maybe he just cannot accept the fact that I already moved on from him.

Love really makes you crazy.

I put on a green dress and paired it with my stilettos. It's Christmas Eve and I have to go to a dinner party tonight. After I put my make up on, I decided to immediately leave the house. I plugged my keys and started the engine of my car.

Yes, I can drive on my own now.

And I don't have any drivers and maids to do something for me. I'm back on being my own. After the surgery, I decided to leave everything behind. I was just too hurt.

Pumayag ang pamilya ko sa desisyon kong ito basta't babalik ako kapag handa na ako. I decided to live here in Switzerland because of its scenery and safety. Alam nila na nandito ako pero pinilit ko silang hayaan ako sa sarili ko. From living in a Mansion and a Palace, I lived in a small bungalow for three years.  I told them not to send guards or anyone. I just want peace.

And I still can't find it.

"You look ravishing tonight." He said as I got out of my car.

"You too." I said and smiled. He was wearing a scarlet suit that fits his body well. I reached for his arm and sniffed his manly scent. Sobrang bango. Nakakaadik.

"Shall we?"

We started to walk into a fancy restaurant. We immediately ordered some food. Nang dumating na ay sinimulan na namin ang pagkain.

"I'm really sorry for what I said, I hope you forgive me." He said sincerely while looking straight into my eyes.

"It's fine. I also want to say something." Saad ko.

"What is it?"

"We can't keep doing this anymore. I'm leaving." I bravely said. It feels so good to let this out of my chest. His gentle eyes started to show sadness and confusion.

"What? Is this about--"

"No."

"Then what?" He asked desperately. Why is he so affected? Alam niya naman kung saan kami tutungo. I made it very clear from the start.

"Just my family. They want me to go back home." I answered. I think I'm ready to go home now.

"When are you leaving?"

"Maybe after the new year. I don't know."

"Okay, okay. This is a lot for me to take in but it'll eventually go away. I want you to have this." And he reached for his pocket and handed me a small box.

"What's this? You don't have to--"

"Thank you for being there by my side." He said sincerely and opened the box. It was a ruby ring. Ngayon lang ulit ako kinilig dahil sa materyal na bagay. Sobrang ganda ng singsing.

"Don't worry, I'm not proposing to you or anything, Celaine. I just wanted to let you know how special you are to me. I had this made just for you. Merry Christmas." He said and slipped the ring into my ring finger.

"This is so beautiful. I love it so much. Thank you for always being understanding." Masayang kong saad at yinakap siya. I'm gonna miss him too.

•••••••

And just like that we ended up naked on his bed again. I worked for his company for the last three years. I was just an ordinary employee for his agriculture business but I probably caught his attention.

He approached me first and I made it clear that I don't want any romantic relationship. We ended up being fuck buddies. We were drunk from his company's party one night and we had sex.

And we did it again.

And again.

And again.

I heard him groan and he squeezed my left boob. I started to feel his morning wood on my thigh. "I'm gonna miss this." He said.

And guilt paved its way to my system again. He doesn't know I'm still married to another man. The man I'm sleeping with is not my husband. I'm gonna go back to the Philippines soon and I'm not expecting anything, honestly.

I know this is wrong but it feels so right. Sa tatlong taon na nawala ako, alam kong may bago na rin ang asawang iniwan ko. Alam kong bago na ang lahat at handa na ako tanggapin iyon.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Tellus."