Irresponsible

People change.

Ash's POV
*four months later*
⚠️trauma⚠️

I felt my legs burn as my feet hit the damp grass.My lungs swelled and my throat went dry,as I heard the ring of a whistle.I slowed my pace down to a stop and held my knees as my chest heaved.I may have been fit before but now I'm a goddamn triathlete.All the other girls my age had been doing 'calorie deficits' from some tmz magazine.
'Who the fuck even reads magazine anymore anyways?'
But while they did that I focused on my endurance training and muscle mass.I know it's not the best thing to strictly focus on but it's better than that at least.I lifted my head and felt the hot air hit my face.California weather can suck a dick.I wiped my forehead,and turned to see Moe and my other teammates sitting down or guzzling water bottles.She lifted her shirt and wiped her face off.I smiled at her,and she raised a brow at me with a smirk when she dropped her shirt.
"Stop eye fucking me Miller."She laughed out and nudged me.I only shrugged and stretched my legs out.
"What I cant admire my best friend?"She smiled and hooked a arm around my shoulder.
"C'mon we'll be here all night if we don't get to showers first."I smiled as we walked into the locker room.
*time skip*
I walked out of the locker room with Moe beside me.
"Hey you think about what your wearing to prom?"I shook my head 'no'.
"Have you?"Her smile beamed.I walked up to my car door and unlocked it.
"Yep."
"Well?"
"You'll have to wait."
"Fine.See you later Moe."
"Bye Ash."
I cranked my car and drove out of the parking lot.I connected my phone to aux and played 'the beach'.A sigh escaped my lips.I let all of the bad memories fade in.

'Fucking faggot!'
'Your not mine.'
'It's your fault.'
'You ruined my life Ash.'
'I hate you!'
'It's your fault.'
'I knew you liked crazy ones but this ones a different level of insanity.'
'It's your fault.'

I blinked my eyes and felt tears gloss them over.I quickly brushed them away and turned the music up louder.I drove to my house and slowly got out of my car.My grandparents had paid off the house,because they felt some kind of guilt for making my dad the way he is.I didn't mind the reason,I got free housing,and free food.The house was put into me and Issacs name,but he told me he didn't want to live here.He said it brought back too many bad memories.So the house was pretty much mine,I had done some renovations over the past four months.I looked around and saw my surfboard rested on the side of the stairs.I had recently got back into surfing,I know it makes me sound like some 'quirky' motherfucker.But I just like it,so I do it.I walked over and ran a hand across the old wax.
"Gross.You need to be rewaxed."I dropped my bag and jogged upstairs.I put on a pair of cloth shorts and took of my shirt.I ran back downstairs and grabbed my board and phone.I laid my surfboard under the hot sun.I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and I looked down.It was from Sarah.

Sar🛐:You want me to come get you for Issacs party?
:If U don't care
Sar🛐:No of course I don't care,also it's y o u.
:Oh I know.
Sar🛐:Be there in twenty.
:Alright.

I smiled and felt my cheeks heat up.I thought of Sarah and how I would stay behind in class,even though I had no detention.I had finished that book she told me to read.I hate to admit it but she was right,I did love it.After I read it,I even started reading other things.I'd practice my pronunciation of words.I would read sunscreen bottles,mouthwash bottles,bags of chips,and even started turning on close captioning on videos.Just simple things.She really did impact me for the better.I had started doing the things I loved again.I felt my shell crack,and I stopped acting like that person I was before.I would let out tears on occasions,and I would express my emotions instead of keeping them in.I walked toward to my car and opened the door as I put a small cassette into the opening.
'This magic moment.'Played through the speakers.I smiled.
"Sheesh."I smirked and cranked up the volume and rolled down my windows.I got out of the car and closed the door.I sung along and walked over to my desk and spun in the chair before facing the drawers.I opened the one to the right and pulled out a small sticker bombed bag.I hummed along with the song as I stood up and sat on the concrete with my board in my lap.I put my hair into a messy bun.My hair had grown to a little below shoulder length now,and I quit straightening it so my curls were visible.I didn't mind it in the least,mainly because of the compliments I got...from a certain person.I smiled and started dragging the razor down the board scraping up the old wax.Things were going smoothly till the razor chipped.
"Fuck."I sighed and stood up.I stood and grabbed another one from the bag and started singing along.
'Stand by me.'Plated through the speakers.
"So darling,darling stand by me.Oh stand by me.~"I sang the rest of the song with closed eyes,not hearing the car pull up.I heard a slight hand clap and turned quickly to the source,I saw her and immediately smiled.I walked over to her and pulled her into a quick hug.She smirked at me confused.
"What are you doing?"She laughed kissing me gently.
"Waxing my board,and listening to some-."Just then I heard the perfect song playing,I quickly ran to my car and swung the door open.I sat and turned the volume up and looked at her expression.I quickly got out and danced towards her and sung along to the song.She laughed amused at me and leaned on the hood of my car.
"Your my-y brown eyed girl.Do you remember when we used to sing~."I walked in front of her and interlocked our fingers,she lowered her head laughing.I sang the next part smiling as I lifted her onto my waist and spun.I pulled her into a deep kiss as the song faded out.I sat her down and smiled.
"Wow."
"I know pretty great right."She smiled and looked into my eyes.
"Yeah it really was."She sighed and motioned towards the car.
"Alright miss girl go turn off the music and let's get you changed."I frowned and gave in.
"Fine only for you would I turn off the best era of music."I walked over and clicked the radio off.She clicked her tongue.
"Eighties was better."My eyes widened and a hand flew to my heart and I scoffed.
"Betrayed by the one I trusted."She laughed and rolled her eyes.
"C'mon lover girl let's get that sweat off you."I smiled and pulled her into a hug.I rubbed my face against hers.
"Oh you mean this sweat."
"Ash,Gross."She laughed and gently nudged me.I smiled and kissed her softly.
"You know you love me."Her eyebrows shot up and I froze at the realization.I stepped back and coughed.
"Uhh.Im gonna go shower now."I said awkwardly.
"Uhm.Yeah go do...that."She coughed and looked everywhere but at me.I sped walked inside and rubbed my temples.
"Why am I like this?"