It's okay to love something a little too much, as long as it's real to you

Stink bomb

/I don't think Gerard actually ever did buy a hamster but I thought it would be cute if he did. So suuuck it ;) /

2005

Bert pokes his fingers inside the space between the tiny metal bars. "Hey little dude?" He coos softly. Bending down to get a closer look. "Hellooo?" He speaks a little louder but still there's no response from the ball of fur. "Is it even alive?" Bert stood up and his upper body swayed a bit but his feet where stood steady still on the ground. "I just bought it." Gerard frowns looking up from the small hand mirror. He was in the process of doing his eyeliner. "Of course it's alive." But he looks at the cage and frowns some more. "Well...I hope it is." A tourbus definitely wasn't a good home for a fucking hamster but after a few too many beers and Bert's cute puppy dog eyes, it didn't take much convincing.

"I don't know..." Bert's face pulls and he motions to Gerard, "You even name the thing?" He slowly gets both his arms above his head and stretches his back out. His T-shirt riding up and exposing a bit of his tummy. "He's called robin." Gerard had been looking at Bert's tummy but thankfully he remembers to speak. Bert rolls his eyes, "nerd." A grin on his face that's sort of sneered. And Gerard brings his hand up and flicks his wrist Bert's way, "Whatever."
"I don't like its name." Bert admits obnoxiously. "Call it snoop dog..." he thinks aloud, "-or butthead! Jepha will love that!"
"I'm not calling my hamster butthead!" Gerard's face says it all, he's not impressed with Bert's suggestions. "I might call it Obi-Wan..." he thinks suddenly and falls quiet.
"Like, from Star Wars?" Bert looks at Gerard. "Fuck'n nerds...hey! why not roger?" Bert throws it out there and Gerard falls quiet. That was actually a good idea but he doesn't want to give Bert the satisfaction right now.
"No. He's my hamster."
"But you wouldn't have bought him if it wasn't for me."
"That's not true. I got a hamster wheel."
"For Christmas. It's now July." Bert points out. Waving his hand in Gerard's direction and offering him a beer. Gerard eyes follow to the  beer and he looks up at Bert like he's stupid. "If that beer is magically orange juice then sure..." he huffs before saying, "I didn't think it was right to buy a hamster at Christmas. It's too cold."
At first, Bert realises his fuck up and quickly retracts the beer but Starts laughing loudly, "your a dumbass." He grins lazily, "but you got a cute butt." Bert's lazy grin melts into a flirty smile.
"I do?" Gerard's cheek warm up.
"Yeah you do." Bert lets out a shy giggle before attempting to go cross eyed. It looks ridiculous. "You'll get stuck like that." Gerard warns his boyfriend.
"No." Bert rolls his eyes and sways on the kitchenette. Pulling himself back and pushing himself forward with his arms. "That's just a scare tactic. An old wise tale."
"Your too smart." Gerard teases. "Bet your momma couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh?"
"No chance." Bert looks proudly, puffing out his chest comically before digging around in his pockets for that joint he'd rolled when he woke up. It's crumpled now but smoke able.

"Is that just weed?" Gerard asks curiously. A small smile on his lips. The older mans eyes fall on the hamster cage and he frowns, "don't be smoking that near Mr Roger, Bert?" The name change of the hamster makes Bert's eyes widen with surprise before grinning ear to ear. "I knew you'd love that name." He looks smug now and Gerard shakes his head. Rolling his eyes slightly as he says, "don't get to ahead of yourself mister." He wasn't going to go into anymore detail. He was slightly annoyed he hadn't thought of that name for the hamster himself. And he didn't feel like giving Bert anymore information about how much of a good idea he thought it was. The names changed. The hamster is called Mr Rogers and that's all Bert needs to know. But it's not like what's went unsaid isn't obvious. Gerard knows this. Bert knows this too.

Bert sparks the joint in triumph. Taking a large toke in celebration and holding the sweet smoke in his lungs until they couldn't take it anymore. "It's just weed." Bert says honestly when he spots Gerard glaring at him slightly. Gerard narrows his eyes, "keep that smoke anyway from my baby!" He demands.
Bert realises his mistake and shuffles away from the cage. "Oops." He shrugs. Takes another drag and reminds himself to blow the smoke in the other direction. "I don't think weed will kill him." Bert ponders.
"He's a tiny dwarf hamster Bert, of course weed will kill him." Gerard shakes his head at the stupidity.
"Nah..." Bert disagrees, "it would make him all mellow...and hungry."
"He's already mellow and hungry!" Gerard looks at Bert. He's not impressed. "I don't need my hamster to be a stoner. I love him for how he is now."
"Well...-" Bert wasn't going to drop this. "If you love him for who he is then you got to...ummm- you got to except that he might get into it in his teens." Bert says on a serious tone but it's complete none sense. "As the dad I'll make sure to keep him away from hard drugs. That's a scout promise." He hold his hand and puts the other on his chest. Gerard looks at his boyfriend like he's the biggest idiot he's ever met. Maybe that's exactly what Bert is. "He's not doing any drugs!" Gerard huffs. "And who said your the dad!"
That makes Bert look mildly shocked but he continues to grin. "Who else would be the dad?" Bert chuckles.
"Frank." Gerard says very calmly. Picking up his coffee in a normal manner but only doing this to fidget his nervousness about bringing frank up with Bert. Guilty conscience maybe... "He bought the hamster food...because you forgot." Gerard pointed out.
"I didn't forget." Bert frowns further. "You wouldn't let me buy a rabbit!" Bert's argument doesn't make sense and Gerard rolls his eyes again. "A rabbit on tour?" He asks the same question he had asked in the pet store. "Come on, babe."