In Drunken Matrimony ✔️

Ten - Steamy Fantasies And Icy Altercations

Oʟɪᴠᴇʀ

The paparazzi got their picture. A shit tonne of pictures actually.

With a ice lolly in one hand, I scroll through my phone. We're trending again - or more specifically, Hallie is, and so with only the simple search of her first name, every article of the past seventy two hours shows itself. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google, I'm sure I even see us on LinkedIn.

Most recently published, our shopping trip. The main picture comes from the paparazzi - Hallie and I pushing the trolley full of bagged food, hand in hand. They've also used the one where she leans up to speak into my ear. Even I can admit it looks like she's whispering sweet nothings. It's a good picture - I just wish we weren't nearly mauled to death for it. Fair to say, I will absolutely, undoubtedly, listen to Hallie in the future when she tells me we're home bound because the pap's are lurking.

Additionally, a smaller fuzzier quality picture of us down the freezer isle. I wonder whether it is from the trio, or taken by another that we didn't spot. She's flustered, caught in my embrace with wide eyes, though a soft smile graces her face as I bury my smirk into her neck. It's strange, knowing this is nothing but a facade... seeing this picture makes it difficult to believe that we're actually pretending.

That is, until we got home and I got the bollocking of my life for pulling such a stunt. It's like she's my mother - no touching Oli, no shoes on the carpet Oli, eat your ice lolly at the table Oli. Wear pants for dinner Oli.

"Do you see what I see?" Monty asks down the phone. He rang perhaps half an hour ago, lecturing me for leaving without a goodbye and having to find out via the media that I was cosied up with my wife. I suppose, in hindsight, I should have probably told my friends. They know I'm inconsistent though. I can disappear for weeks and return as though I've never been gone with wild stories to tell. This just so happens to be the wildest, and there is another two months and three weeks to go.

"I see a good looking woman, and an ever better looking man, on trending news for the second time in seventy two hours." I hear a scoff from his end of the line and grin shamelessly, paying attention to the ice lolly that has begun to melt. It dribbles towards my fingers and I catch it with my tongue quickly. Hallie will freak if I get it on the sofa.

"How long are you there for?" He asks.

"Couple of months. But you, Zach and Felix can visit." I tell him in consolation. "I'll take the couch and two of you can have my bed and one can have the spare room."

There is a pause. "You're not sharing a bed?"

"No. We're a couple for the cameras Monty." I explain lamely.

He scoffs again and I roll my eyes. "All for the cameras huh? So you've not made the move on her? I know you, Ol, and I know there is no way you're gonna spend the next three months living in the same house with a girl like that without doing something about it."

I decide not to go into detail about my masturbatory fantasies which, over the last few days, have included very vivid depictions of everything I'd like to do to Hallie. Where I'd like to touch her with my hands, my lips, my tongue, what I'd like to do to her so that she can't walk and how I'd like to have her screaming my name until it's the only word she knows how to say. I especially don't want to say all of that, considering she's just joined me in the living room with a face about as welcoming as a nail door mat.

"Nope." I answer swiftly. "It's a professional relationship, despite the sex in Vegas." She blushes through a frown, looking hard at the phone as if trying to figure out who it is on the line. "But Monty, I'm going to have to go. Hallie's mad at me for eating ice lollies on the sofa." He laughs, muttering a small goodbye before hanging up.