"where's the little kitty i love so much?" yeosang said one day as he and yunho barged into wooyoung's room. wooyoung looked at the direction of his bathroom frantically since the older was taking a piss in there. wooyoung glanced at his two friends and smiled, "he's probably hiding somewhere. i'll go find him, yeah?"
with that, wooyoung quickly ran to the bathroom and knocked softly, "sannie, yeosang and yunho are here." the younger boy heard a groan, the click of the door, and then poof! wooyoung opened the door with caution, scared that san might be right behind it, but when he saw the cat washing its own paws — with water and soap, mind you — wooyoung let out a breath of relief.
"you really act like a man, you know? start acting like a cat so they might believe you." wooyoung muttered to the kitty and san purred as wooyoung picked him up, walking towards the main area of his room.
yeosang's eyes glistened when he saw san, running towards wooyoung and taking the kitty away from him, "ah~ little kitty~ yes, it's yeosangie again, oh, i've missed you so much! exams has been a pain in the ass, i'm still revising for them and i don't think i can revise again until i've had my serotonin boosted with this little kitty~"
wooyoung chuckled at how cutely yeosang was trying to talk to the cat. obviously, san understood everything and he once told wooyoung how hard he had to resist the urge to cringe whenever yeosang talked to him, which made the younger holler with laughter.
"so," yunho asked, sitting on wooyoung's bed, "how are you prepared with the exams?"
wooyoung shrugged, "the same as always. revise, revise and even more revising. i'm going to visit the dance studio pretty often for the next week or so, are you gonna tag along?"
yunho shook his head, "nah, i have my own schedule. but honestly, business is going to be so hard. i can actually see my future self crying over the business paper in the exam hall. how am i supposed to cram all the information we've learnt in such a short period of time?"
yunho was starting to stress himself out, wooyoung could see it, so he went over to sit next to his friend and hugged him tightly. "it's going to be fine, yunho. you can come over whenever you don't understand something, and you can ask seonghwa hyung as well if you just don't understand that topic. you always have people to help you with these kinda stuff. plus, this exam will only count to our end of term grade, so don't stress too much about it, yeah? i know everyone says you should give your best in any given time in uni, but if your mental health's shit over it, then you shouldn't force yourself too much."
"you should be a goddamn therapist at this point." yunho muttered against wooyoung's hair, which made the younger giggle, "just drop business, wooyoung. i know you want to open a dance studio, but honestly, being a therapist suits you better."
wooyoung hummed, "maybe i should. who knows? i might. but for now, i only have to worry about my exams coming up in two weeks and the mental health of my friends."
yunho smiled, "you're the best, wooyoung."
"i know."
"brat!"
the two left after a bit of spending time in wooyoung's room, yeosang being reluctant about saying bye to the cat as he won't be able to come over for the next two weeks. however, after a lot of pushing and forcing, wooyoung finally got the two out of his room. don't get him wrong, he loved having the two over, he really need to start revising. although he didn't doubt his skills in business studies, it would still help him in the long run to start revising now.
"so, exams in two weeks, huh?" the voice behind him said. wooyoung wasn't even startled at this point. he got used to san transforming his forms without telling him and honestly, it's quite easy to get use to when you have your cat-obsessed friend coming over every few days.
wooyoung hummed, "yup. so, please don't bother me 'cus i really need to ace these exams."
san smiled. he neared the younger and wrapped his arms around wooyoung's neck, slightly pulling the younger back but a grin on their faces nonetheless. "well, i can always boost your serotonin like kind yeosang says, just say when and i'll transform."
wooyoung chuckled, "i don't get relaxed and happy with animals. if anything, you make me anxious because kitty san can go anywhere and i won't be able to find you. if you want me to relax, buy me food and then i'll start to relax."
san snickered, "well, i don't have money, do i? what about i sing for you for the time being? i've been told my singing's pretty healing."
"the stage is yours." wooyoung gestured the space between his desk and his bed as san went to the centre of the area, bowing slightly and making the younger giggle.
san started singing and oh my God was it beautiful. wooyoung swore he had heard san sing before, he definitely did, but something in san's voice changed. it was like he now had so many emotions within that voice that whenever he changed a note or the octave, a new feeling was conveyed through those lyrics.
san sung with so much emotion and so much pain wooyoung couldn't help but wonder what he went through during those five years. surely, heaven wouldn't be that bad. if it was the final resting place for anyone, some even call it a paradise, it surely wouldn't be as bad, as painful as san is conveying. but everything wooyoung was feeling through san's voice said otherwise.
"wow," wooyoung breathed after san finished, "wow, sannie, that was amazing."
san grinned, sitting down on wooyoung's bed, "thank you."
"i'm just curious, but you don't have to answer me," wooyoung said, his voice coming out a bit louder than a whisper, "what were you thinking of just now? how was the entire song so... sad and so painful?"
san bit back a tear from falling down. he didn't want to say it, but he guessed it would be easier for him to say it than to lie about it.
"you."
silence fell between the two. san sighed and looked at his lap, "i was thinking about you, about us, about everything that happened before the car crash. everything was so perfect and all of a sudden, everything that made me happy was just ripped away from me. i was ripped away from my best friend on his birthday. i felt so bad for him. i felt so bad for you. not only did you lose your best friend, you also have to live through it. you had to go on even though your best friend died on your birthday. and i just feel so much pain for you."
wooyoung didn't utter a single word. instead, he got up, sat down next to san and wrapped his arms tightly around the older boy. san sighed gently, wrapping his arms around wooyoung's waist and pulling the younger closer to him, "i'm so sorry, youngie. i'm so sorry for leaving you."
"shh," wooyoung said, stroking san's hair softly, "none of it is your fault. you don't have to apologise. plus, i have you here now, don't i? everything's fine, sannie. you're fine, i'm fine, we're fine.
"i'm here with you now, sannie."
—
a/n: funnily enough i wrote this on my birthday. when i look back at this before publishing i better wonder what the hell happened for me to write such sad angst on my birthday.
