when worlds collide [george russell]

Chapter 18

George was quite busy over the next few weeks with a race every weekend and sim sessions in between and visits at the Mercedes Headquarters whenever he was in the UK, so there was barely any time for a real date.

Gladly, Willow wasn't as busy as him so they managed to go running in Hyde Park together a few times on his schedule.

One time George had to spend a whole day at the Mercedes HQ in Brackley so he texted Willow the day before, knowing her parents lived there, to come with. Like this they got to spend the car ride there together, Willow got to visit her parents for a day - which took them by surprise but they didn't question it - and before spending another 3 hours in the car back to London in the evening they even managed to take a stroll through Brackely, where Willow showed George her elementary school and her secret hiding spots where she used to go.

With George being so busy, they really got creative in order to spend time with each other, but it was worth it. They were both on the same page - they wanted to see each other no matter what.

At this point Willow was watching every race of his and they even made it sort of a tradition for George to call her each Sunday evening after a race to tell her all about it. She always fell asleep eventually as he got into detail on things like how the car works or how different tyres feel, but her knowledge of the sport was growing exponentially nevertheless.

Finally, after the Japanese Grand Prix they found a day where they both had the whole evening and the following morning free so George invited for dinner at his and a movie after.

As he had just been in Japan, he felt inspired by the Japanese cuisine and the decided to make sushi together.

It seemed like they had come full circle since their first date at that Sushi place, but one thing was unclear. What to define their relationship as.

Willow had undoubtedly enjoyed the last few weeks and she loved spending time with George, but she started to question where it was headed. It was October now, which meant their first date was already over two months ago and she felt like it was time for them to have the conversation. Willow wasn't even sure herself what she wanted to advocate for in that conversation but she sure wanted to know where George was standing on that topic.

Willow arrived at his place around 5 so they would have enough time to prepare the sushi.

George greeted her with a kiss on the lips - casually, as if they had been dating for years - which took Willow by surprised but she still enjoyed it, never would she not enjoy his lips on hers.

"Come in, come in! I've already prepared everything!" George said excitedly, rushing her to take her shoes off and get into the kitchen.

Willow connected her phone to the speakers that were built in throughout the whole house and pressed shuffle on her playlist called simple but effective, which contained mostly chilled house music and some R&B.

George had prepared the rice and several different things to put inside the rolls including salmon, avocado and cucumber, so the only thing left to do was assemble.

The food turned out great and they sat down outside to watch the sun set and enjoy the warm weather before fall would come.

After dinner, George made them both a gin tonic and they continued sitting outside except now with a blanket wrapped around the both of them.

"So... it's been quite a while since..." George started. Apparently he was wondering the same  thing as Willow was.

"Yeah...it's been a while" Willow continued.

"I really love spending time with you, Willow, and..." he said but stopped, searching for words to bring across exactly what he wanted to.

Willow was curious of what was to come out of his mouth. She just now realized what she wanted George so say. All she wanted was for him to ask that one question, that would make them a real couple not only two people who do thing that couples do.

"And I wanted to ask you if you want to make this official,..., not to the public, not right away at least, but to us. I want to think of you as my girlfriend and not just the girl I want as my girlfriend."

Willow was quietly looking to him. The words she thought she wanted to hear, suddenly made her uncomfortable. A second ago she couldn't wait for him so als her to be his girlfriend and know that he had said it, panic arose in her. Several worries she had never thought about before now overshadowed each moment they spent together.

George's face was now changing from enthusiastic to confused.
"Or is that not what you want? I just thought..."
Willow could hear the despair in his voice as she didn't react how he thought she would.

"I..I.." Willow stammered while digging her hand into her hair, completely out of herself . It felt like she was about to have a panic attack. Where was this coming from?

"George, I.." she tried again "I don't know, ... I want this but...I...we..."
She stood up to energize her body that felt like it was about to shut down. George did so as well, as he noticed her breath getting faster and a scattered look on her face, so he could catch her if she broke down, which seemed like what was about to happen.

As he grabbed her arm to comfort her, she shook it off. She was feeling a little better after taking a few breaths.

"This won't work." Willow commenced to explain "You're so busy and I'm...I'm not right for you. Our lives..., they don't match at all. And you,... you can't..." she let out a heavy sigh.

"Willow, where is this coming from? I thought.." George tried to calm her down.

They were now inside and George had close the door behind them.

"I need,...I need someone who is there for me,... for ME. I need someone, who doesn't judge me when I lay in bed for week because I feel like shit about everything. I need someone who helps me achieve my goals. I need someone who lets me be my own person.
You can't just.."

George got angry at this, why was she not seeing that he was willing to do all that. Why was she sabotaging this right now. It was like she was convincing herself she wasn't deserving of this. She acted like George couldn't be what she wanted for her but in reality she just couldn't accept that someone was willing to be that for her.

"Don't you get that I want to be all of that. Why are you making this so hard? Let me be there for you. Willow, listen to me, I've spent enough time with you to know what I'm getting myself into. I want this, but I'm not sure if you just don't want this or if just just think you don't deserve it." He took a few breath to calm himself down again. Willow looked at him intimidated now, she had gone completely silent.
"If you really don't want me to be that person for you,... fine, I won't bother you ever again, but if you are telling yourself that I can't be what you want just because you think you don't deserve it, then please let me prove you wrong. I want this. I want YOU."

George had said everything he wanted to. He was now out of breath, waiting for Willow to say something, anything.

For a second the looked at him in complete shock. They stood facing each other. Willow with tears in her eyes and George with his chest  rising and sinking quickly and his nostrils flaring at his fast breaths.

"I'm sorry" was the last thing that came out of Willows mouth under her breath before tears started streaming down her face like a waterfall and she broke down, falling into George's arms, not able to hold herself anymore.