The trail and error of life

Chapter 14.

I groaned as I heard another knock on the door. It should be about a week since I locked myself in the room and these people still don't seem to get that I want to be alone. I feel bad that Dhrithi had to leave without meeting me even after coming here almost everyday. But I think I can give myself a break and be a little selfish. I feel so dead inside. I feel very weak too, probably from having only water from the bathroom and a packet of biscuit I had in my bag the past days. I don't know how many days its been...should be a week...it should. Why is time so slow? What am I doing? I wish I'd stop breathing....can I stop breathing? Why Allah?Why? Why am I still breathing? Why did you let this happen to me? Why did I not lose my consciousness forever?Why?! I wish I were dead!

I slowly peeled the comforter off of my head and the light around the room pierced into eyes. It took me few minutes to adjust to the light only to discover how dim the sun rays through the curtain is making me realise how much my eyes were deprived of light the past days. I didn't want to step out of the bed or remove the comforter from my body which felt like a protective shell for me. 'Remember? We talked bout this!' I reminded myself. I finally stepped out of the bed, almost falling down, probably from all the weakness. I sighed, satisfied on making the first step of picking myself up. I have come to terms with what has happened and to the fact that it would forever haunt me. But I can't keep sulking about it my whole life or maybe I will. I don't know anymore. All that comes to my mind right now is that I have a mother who would be worried by now and a commitment I get paid for every month that I have broken. I'd probably be fired by now but that does not really bother me. But if I don't have a job, what will I do? Wait! I can't be in this house anymore! Why am I still here? I should leave this house! With that thought, I stepped inside the bathroom and turned on the shower. I held out my hand under the shower and started splashing water on my face. What will I tell Ammi? She'll die if she comes to know that the son-in-law to whom she so dearly and proudly married off her daughter raped her. I imagine her being heart broken knowing the way he treats me but I don't think she'll be able to survive this incident. Maybe I can get a job somewhere else and move out of here and be far away from him and no one would ever know! Ugh!!! "Why?! Wh-" I stopped, taken aback by the sound of my voice. I can't even recognise myself. More tears started flowing down my cheeks as I sat on the bathroom floor, drenched by the shower, my tears and these haunting thoughts.

"Your Mami Ji did tell me about your busy work and all but beta please call me at least once a week. I miss your voice everyday" Ammi said and I hummed in reply. "I've reached office. Will call you Ammi" I quickly said before hanging up, my voice still hoarse. I blinked back my tears before entering the glass door of Sky HQ. Swiping in, I felt numb not even anxious about what is going to happen or how I'll tell Ammi that I'm fired. I slowly walked towards my cabin. "Amyra?!" I could recognise that scream to be Dhrithi as I looked up to watch her run towards me. I was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. "Mr Ayaan wants you in his office right away. It's urgent." Naina's voice spoke in urgency making me suck in some breath. This is it! Avoiding Dhrithi completely, I slowly walked towards Ayaan's cabinet. I knocked slowly upon reaching it and gently opened the door once I got a response. Keeping my head low I entered the cabin. "What the hell Amyra?!" Ayaan shouted making me flinch. "Do you know what day it is?" He asked, anger clear in his voiced but I kept quiet. "I asked do you know what day it is?" He repeated himself, his voice more loud and I gently shook my head in affirmative. "Its been freaking seven days! A whole week you just vanished and now then you just show up on Wednesday? Why didn't you speak to Dhrithi when she came over?" He asked confusing me about what his actual concern was. What does that have anything to do with not coming to work? "Amyra?" I heard him call which was followed by a knock on the door. "Yes?" Ayaan answered and from the corner of my eyes I could see Mrs Christina walking in with a bunch of papers. "Morning Mr Ayaan, Morning Mrs Amyra" She greeted and I failed to respond as my mind was still hogged up by all the thoughts. I can't believe I'm already leaving this place. "Pease have a seat you two" I heard Ayaan's voice.

" -alright Mrs Amyra?" I snapped my head towards the two who were already seated while I was still frozen on my earlier spot. I quickly averted my face once my eyes met Ayaan's and I quickly took my seat opposite to Ayaan's which was adjacent to Mrs Christina. "So Mrs Amyra, I hope you are fine?" It was more of a question from Mrs Christina and I finally nodded after noticing that she was still waiting for an answer. "This is a formal meeting as per policy since you had been on unplanned leaves for more than a week and I'm sorry to say leaves without any prior information or at least an update during the course of it is something that's taken really seriously. I'm hoping you have a reason for that" She popped it out more like a question and I nodded in negative. There was awkward silence after that and I could feel the two exchanging glances. "A-are you sure?" She reconfirmed and I nodded a 'yes'. "Well if that's the case..um strict actions are taken against such behaviour and it also reflects on behav-" "Thank you Mrs Christina. I would like to take further decision on this later and privately" I heard Ayaan speak, stopping Mrs Christina from her conversation of what I assume firing me. "Fair enough Mr Ayaan. Let me know if I have to do something and please approve the bonus submission I have sent them over a mail. Take care Mrs Amyra" She said before leaving and I too stood up to leave. "Amyra?" I heard him call me and I stopped midway. "Are you okay?" My eyes snapped towards his at that question. I don't know if it's the fear that there's any noticeable change in me or the fact that he noticed something wrong in me that shocked me. Or maybe it's the overwhelming feeling of someone asking that question when you are on the verge of breaking down. I looked away and started walking, though I know it is rude and offensive. "Amyra?" He called once again followed by nearing foot steps. I fixed my gaze on the ground when I noticed him stand in front of me. It either felt like a few minutes or he actually stood there for a few minutes before moving aside and letting me go, all the while, I could feel his eyes on me.