The trail and error of life

Chapter 22.

"Do you not know me Amu? Huh? What made you think...I can't believe I made my daughter go through all that!" Ammi whimpered and I tried to tell her it was not her fault but the tears and constriction in my throat didn't allow it. "That rascal and that...Sheena...how could she keep lying all this while? I trusted her with you. I trusted the wrong people and made my daughter suffer! Please forgive me bacha..please forgive your mother" Ammi cried as she started to grab my feet. I quickly got hold of her hands and hugged her. "Ammi... please...Ammi!" I was finding it too difficult to speak while she kept muttering 'sorry'. "I'm sorry Ammi, I didn't want to face this. I didn't want you to know... I can't bear your sorrow but I just couldn't anymore Ammi... I just couldn't bear any more. I tried. I tried a lot to adjust and make..make this work but.. but I failed...I'm sorry" I apologised, crying loudly and suddenly Ammi pulled back and I was confused by the angry look on her face. "No, Amyra, no... it's not your fault. I just wish you wouldn't have told me this earlier. Oh, how I wish! You wouldn't have had to go through- Well it's all in the past. Do you know what would hurt me the most? If you'd sulk on this and stop being happy and stop living. It would kill me and I will never be able to forgive myself for destroying my daughter's life" Ammi explained and I nodded, wiping my tears as I didn't know what to say. "Amu, you are not going back ever again. Stay here, live your life the way you want. I'm sorry my love" Ammi said as she placed a kiss on my forehead and I leaned onto her, hugging her torso, sobbing. "Don't cry beta, it's just a bad experience, that's all. Nothing happened. Just think of it as a nightmare. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. Forget the last three months. I'm with you and I'll be with you forever" Ammi whispered to me as she caressed my hair. My eyes all sore from crying, started drooping. Ammi's soothing touch and words brought a sense of serenity. The weight I carried for weeks now was melting away, my body demanding me to compensate for all the sleepless nights making me drift more into sleep with every passing second.

"Di, I have an upcoming tournament near your place. Zayaan has gone home as his house is in the same city. I thought of leaving with you if you are leaving tomorrow. I'll skip class tomorrow and then it's the weekend right? I'll get three days to hang out at Zayaan's place, he invited me. The match is on Saturday, will you come?" Abhi asked excited as he hopped next to Ammi and me on the couch. "Abhi, she's not going back" Ammi said sternly and my eyes snapped towards her. "What do you mean she's not going back?" Abhi asked, he sounded cautious while a frown was fixed on his face. "Um...Abhi, I'll explain to you later. I need to talk to Ammi" I dismissed him. "What the hell is happening?" Abhi's voice was a bit raised and he looked irritated and confused. "Abhi, I told you, go to your room. I'll explain to you later" I said calmly. He furiously dropped his football on the floor and fumed to his room. "Ammi..?" I called her and she hummed looking at me. "Ammi... I have been thinking the past few days and... I want to go back.." I cautiously stated. "What?! You want to go back to that scoundrel, that Shaithan?" She yelled at me, her eyes bulging with anger. "What? No.. I was talking about going back because I love my current work and Ammi, more than the work, I made a few friends there and... they were more than friends. They had my back throughout this. If I was able to survive the last two months, it's because of them or else I would have lost it Ammi. But I understand if you don't want me to. I just felt like, when I'm with them I kind of forget about all those tortures and- yeah maybe I'll find friends here too..." I trailed off understanding why she wouldn't want me to go. "Amyra, I just don't feel good about you being alone there. Before, I knew you were safe with your family, with your husband, so I had peace of mind but I was obviously wrong. Maybe you would have been happier and safe all alone than married. I never knew... huh, well now, I don't know how I'll leave you there all alone when I know he's in the same city. How can I be peaceful?" Ammi asked all worried and horrified. "I understand Ammi.. don't worry" I sighed as I walked towards my room. I was in my room thinking about my life back home and my future when I heard Ammi come to my room. "Amu?" I turned around when I heard her call me. "I could not be there for you when you were going through all that. Your friends were there and they made sure you were okay so I guess I can trust them. I can see how much you want to go back. One can never be sure what would be the best choice, I've learned my lesson. Your happiness is all that matters to me" She said with a small smile making me grin and run towards her. I hugged her tight as I said "Thank you Ammi!!" I said. "But, I need to see these friends of yours" She said and I nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry Aunty! Like I have told Amyra a thousand times, she's like my little sister. I promise I'll take good care of her. In fact, our friend Ayaan knows this flat in the same building as his for her in case she decides to stay. I live really close to that as well, on the next street. I know what you are going through Aunty. I feel so horrible and angry about this so I can only imag- well is Amyra standing there?" I heard Dhrithi ask and Ammi's eyes moved from the video call on the mobile to me. "Yeah, she's standing right here" Ammi informed her. "Well ask her to go out. I need to talk to you privately" I heard her say. "Haw! How mean Dhrithi!" I yelled at the mobile. "Yeah, yeah. Now shoo, go!" Her voice came through phone speakers and I huffed and moved out of the room to find Abhi sitting on the couch, seemingly disturbed. I moved towards the hall and silently sat beside him. A few minutes passed, neither did I speak a word nor did he even acknowledge my presence. "I'm sorry" he said out of nowhere startling me. "What?" I asked confused. "I didn't say anything when you... it was kind of rude I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to react" He explained apologetically and wrapped my arm around his shoulder pulling him close. I did feel a little bad when he kept quite after I revealed to him what had happened. It took me a lot of strength to tell him. But I knew it hurt him even more knowing it. He was taken aback at first. I could see he was trying hard not to cry or throw a fit in his steaming anger. "It's okay my baby. It's not your fault" I said. "No, it is. Last month when I came over for my tournament, I saw how he treated you. I couldn't bear it and I couldn't even do anything about it. I was so disappointed with myself so I cooked up that lie and left for Zayaan's place. Had I spoken to him and let him know that you are not alone, maybe all this would not have happened" He said and I noticed his eyes red and filled up. "Abhi...some things are not in our hands. It's all part of Allah's plans. Maybe it's a lesson for me..maybe it's a lesson for me to know the worth of something. I honestly don't know Abhi but I certainly don't want any of you to blame yourselves or suffer because of me. I'll try and be happy see?" I pulled at his chin to meet my face and made a wide smile. We chuckled and I wiped away a lone tear from his eyes while he wiped mine.