tough love - jaemin

39

Seohyun's wounds were getting better along with her emotions. she was feeling her emotions returning and displaying itself more often. The feeling would last longer each time, she enjoyed having her emotions back.

but a part of her felt it was easier without them.  She got away with doing things without the draining guilt deep within her, drowning herself in self doubt.

but even with her emotions appearing more frequently, she didn't change one thing : wanting to leave.

she planned more and more things, what she would do when she leaves the city and moved away, where she wanted to live. everything was getting planned out, but jaemin held her back.

what even are we anymore na jaemin?
was the question at the tip of her tongue she kept wanting to unleash but she never found the time to ask.

she knew she still cared for him, she loved him to the moon and back but the thought of him being someone who kills for a living scared her. even if she was never going to be a target to him or any of his group, she remained scared and uncomfortable with the thought.

her fear seemed far more higher than her love and care. she feared being taken away again. she feared being hurt by someone she thought she trusted. she feared losing her loved ones.

Seohyun shuffled off the bed, looking around for the male but then soon came to realise Jaemin wasn't in the room. She walked towards the door, pulling down the handle and pulling the door open to be greeted with greeted with eleven people walking down the hallway frantically.

four girls caught her eye though, specially two of them. she made eye contact with one of them and her heart dropped into her stomach as she immediately recognised her.

"minyoung?"
her voice came off weaker then she anticipated as suddenly her world came crashing down just like it did when she discovered Jaemin was in the mafia and that aruem was involved.

Seohyun looked away from minyoung towards aruem who was approaching the two of them. Aruem gave Seohyun an apologetic look, her eyes speaking more than her seemingly off sounding words.

"I just want to let you know, I didn't help them, they just took it that way since I-"

"since you didn't help me?"
Seohyun said digging holes into aruem with her glaring eyes. her emotions weren't there, but they were slowly flooding out mainly through her eyes. you could tell what her emotion was through her eyes.

"how could I have helped when I'm on a completely different floor."
aruem deadpanned as she stared back at the girl who was glaring. Minyoung gripped Aruem's shoulder and shook her head at the girl.

"now is not the time. you know Seohyun was just telling them what she heard."

aruem felt guilty for not being able to help one of her friends, she felt guilty the moment it happened. but with the having to help an older lady get to safety while everyone else relied on aruem to help them. she couldn't.

she hated herself for it but she couldn't let everyone risk being hurt. Haechan and renjun already confronted her, scolding her and threatening to tell taeyong. which they did anyway since they kind of have to. she only got scolded and let off and a mild punishment considering she didn't reveal that she was involved with the mafia.

seohyun looks at the ground, refusing to make any eye contact with anyone. everyone was hiding this terrifying secret away from her. her fears coming true as she noticed almost everyone was holding a weapon.

"seohyun im sorry I never told you... I couldn't.."
Seohyun just nods her head, deciding to just put minyoung's words aside and instead she focused on the fact everyone had a weapon.

"why do you guys have a weapon?"
Seohyun asked as she took a look around the hallways. Seeing the seven boys a few steps away them from, Jaemin had his back to her as he talked to his members. they all had a serious face on from what she saw.

"we have a mission we have to do to make sure you won't be at any harm anymore.."
minyoung responded.

"and if you guys get hurt what happens?"
"we help ourselves until we can get help from the rest."

Seohyun frowns at her words, finding the mafia experience more risky than she originally thought. Minyoung tilts her head to the side and has a bit of a smile across her face.

"do you want to come? you can wait in the car and help us if anyone gets hurt."
minyoung's words sounded crazy to aruem. Seohyun just got out off a crazy situation of almost one of their riskiest mission they have done in a while, considering they were saving someone. and now she was going to be helping?

"I don't want to be alone-"
"you'll be haechan who is going to lead us through the whole process."
minyoung stated, cutting off Seohyun from her worried filled words. Minyoung pointed back behind her to the group of seven words, pointing at the brown haired male holding a bag and files while he talked to the males with a serious expression across his face.

him being serious seemed very different from his normally happy, friendly personality. That was the only personality she normally saw whenever she saw haechan. Even at the breakfasts they had as a group of eight every morning.

"and if I stay here..?"
"then you'll be alone since the older guys have gone on a different mission."
aruem leaves the two of them to go help Haeun with her belt since it wouldn't clip in correctly ; meaning haeun would drop all her weapons and end up having the risk of fist fighting which never ended well when the other person had a weapon.

Seohyun stares at the ground, her thoughts going wild as she didn't know what her emotions even were. normally she would just decide based on her emotions but now she had to think it through and guess what her emotions would feel is best.

trusting her gut feeling wasn't an easy thing for her, but she felt as if it was begging for her to go with them. maybe if she didn't something bad would happen here? besides a bit of adrenaline doesn't hurt every now and then.