Unexpected

Part 48

The interview with the WGM staff after that weekend was awk~ward.

"When did you tell Sangil that you were struggling in Formula One?"

"A few weeks back."

"In person?"

"Over the phone."

"You two talk on the phone?"

"Yes." I inwardly squirm. Please don't ask for any more details.

"Often?"

"I would say so, yes."

"What were you struggling with?"

"Sorry, that's personal." I don't want the TV audience, and then the F1 community, to know. Even though I'm sure all rookies struggle.

"How do you plan on making up?"

"By talking. I know I didn't do a good job of listening to his side of things."

"How about a big gesture?"

That won't resolve the misunderstanding, will it? I think. "Maybe," I say aloud.

"Did you really mean what you said?"

"Hmm? Which part?"

"About not loving him less if you know his flaws."

I want to laugh in uneasy embarrassment. Why, oh why did my big mouth have to run ahead of my brain and utter what shouldn't have been uttered on camera? "Knowing him as well as I do, I believe that his flaws are not substantial ones."

"So you do love him?"

Forgive me, Sangil. I said that I would always be truthful, but I find that I can't. Not on camera. Besides, it's probably better for you if I bend the truth a little. "I like him."

I decide to use the suggestion from the staff and do a gesture of apology. Sangil and I had talked over the phone and came to an understanding, but since we had the disagreement on camera, then I will apologize on camera. I want to do it before the race, so on Saturday evening, in France, a crew member installs a couple cameras in my hotel room. Then I invite Sangil in, and gesture for him to take a seat.

When I remove the guitar from the closet, his eyes widen.

I sit opposite him and strum the strings. Good, the guitar is still in tune. Then I look into his eyes as I start the song.

Sangil, I am sorry

For the words that I have said

I never meant to hurt you

I was thoughtless; your heart bled

You have suffered great injustice

I have been unkind to you

I offer an apology

And one long overdue

I am sorry

Sangil, I am sorry

Hear my song,

And know I sing the truth

Although we've been in a fight

I reach for kindness in your heart tonight

And if you can forgive

And if you can forgive

Love can truly live

And if you can forgive

And if you can forgive

Love, love will truly live

As the last note fades away he stands up and walks over to me. "Yes, of course I forgive you." He removes the instrument from my hands, laying it down on the bed, and puts his arms around me. It's only when I'm in his arms that it hits me. After telling WGM that I only like Sangil, here I am singing that love can live if he forgives me. After a long, tender cuddle, he pulls away to kiss my temple. "I didn't know you also play the guitar."

"Just this song."

He smiles. "And did you compose the song?"

"No, it's called The Apology Song from the movie The Book of Life. I just changed a few lines so they fit our situation."

"It's a perfect fit. And so was your voice."

I smile. My voice is low and raspy, and I'm not what you would call a vocal, so hearing him say that is sweet.

******************************************