Plan To Love (Love Duology #2)

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Cheating

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How can you save yourself from drowning when everyone you thought that will help you left?

How can you help yourself when you're already drowning to death?

Helping yourself from drowning is like putting back your trust that fell into pieces. Damn impossible. Siguro, maisasalba mo lang ang sarili kapag gusto mo pa talagang mabuhay. Kapag may gustong tumulong sa 'yo. Kasi kung ayaw mo nang mabuhay, hindi ka na maghihintay pa ng tulong na kailangan mo. Ikaw na mismo ang lulubog para mamatay, hindi ba?

I was drowning when the ship I thought will be forever sailing suddenly got sabotaged by the person I thought will be sailing the ship with me. I thought we will be drowning with each other when someone took him from the sea before leaving me alone together with my failed ship. I watched the new ship he was in, sailing proudly. I watched him being with the new ship and I let him be in there because I know that he will be better without me, who was already drowning.

But when I finally accepted that I will be forever left alone in the sea with the failed ship I built with the person who left me, someone came, saving me from drowning. His ship looked more comfortable and luxurious. His smile was telling me that he won't let me be alone again when he found me.

Someone saved me. Someone was with me again. Someone made a ship with me again. But this time, the ship will be sailed by me with the person who found me at my lowest. He found me at the lowest sea while I was drowning. He saved me and gave me a ship, where he was patiently waiting for someone to sail it with him. And when he found me, he offered me his ship together with his heart.

I was happy. Masaya ako na may taong kaya akong pahalagahan. Kaya akong alagaan. Kayang iparamdam na ako lang. Kaya akong ipagtanggol. Kaya akong ipaglaban. Kayang samahan ako sa lahat ng bagay na gusto kong gawin. Kayang sabihin kung ano ang gusto sa ayaw niya. I was happy when someone found me at my lowest, not minding how miserable I was.

But then again, when you thought you will be happy for good, someone needs to interrupt it. Someone needs to show her hatred on it. Someone needs to show how she hates it. She needs to show it to tell me that she will only accept my happiness if I am with the person who was already on a new ship. Na patuloy niya akong kakalabanin hanggang sa lumipat ulit ako sa barkong matagal nang lumubog. Matagal nang iniwan.

Pa'no ko ba sasabihin sa mga taong patuloy na nagaabang sa pag-daong ng barko na lumubog na 'yon kaya wala na dapat pa silang hintayin? Na 'yung barkong gusto nilang makita hanggang dulo ay wala na? Na ang mga gumawa no'n ay wala na rin. Nasa ibang mga barko na, may i ba ng kasama.

Mommy never supported me when I told her that I'm already with someone else. Even if I already told her that Joseph and I were already done, she still never gave her support to me being with Steve. Si Daddy naman ay walang problema. He wasn't meddling with it since he told me that I'm already grown-up and I know what is wrong to what is right. Kahit na paminsan-minsan ay ramdam ko rin na hindi gusto ni Daddy si Steve para sa 'kin, hindi naman niya 'yon sinasabi hindi kagaya ni Mommy na kahit kasama ko si Steve ay sinasabi niyang ayaw niya rito.

Lila looked disturbed when she found out about my relationship with Steve. Alam ko naman na ayaw niya na magkaroon ako ng relasyon kasama ang iba maliban sa pinsan niya, pero wala naman siyang magawa dahil desisyon ko 'yon. Lila and I are still in contact. Sa kaniya ko sinasabi lahat ng hinaing ko kahit na kasama na roon ang pinsan niya. I know that she won't tell Joseph about it, except that me being with Steve already. Sinabi niya sa 'kin na sinabi niya 'yon kay Joseph nang mahuli siya nitong tinitingnan ang profile ni Steve sa internet.