Plan To Love (Love Duology #2)

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Past

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I got a manager to manage my schedule since I'm having trouble with my time management. Since I got hospitalized because of what Ava did to me, Mommy recommended to retire, but it was too early for me, so I decided to lie low for a while. To be honest, I've been thinking if I should just do ballet if I'll be paid. Mommy agreed with it, so she found me a manager to manage my schedule well.

Since I was already doing ballet since I was young, the endorsements for me chased me after they heard that I'll only do ballet if I'll be paid for it. I have been endorsing a lot of products. Water and armpit products are the most common endorsement I've got. It was nice since they've been making effort for me since I'm a ballerina, and they knew what a ballerina often eats, drinks, and even wears. It's fantastic to share my knowledge about ballet.

My manager is a Pilipina. Mommy searched for a Pilipina manager for me since she's not comfortable if my manager will be an American. She wants my manager to understand me with any language I use. My manager was named Marley, and I called her Manager Marley since calling her Ate will be informal. She's fine with anything, but I'm not comfortable with it, especially when she's a lot older than me.

All the things I've used to do changed a lot. I'm not attending practices for ballet anymore. I will only practice once a week, and if that happened, it will last a day. I will only practice for months if someone hired me to dance. Honestly, that's fine for me instead of retiring just because of what Ava did to me. If I retired from being a ballerina, it will felt like Ava got what she wanted in the first place.

Ava stayed inside the jail for a year. Daddy didn't let Ava get out of custody. Ava's parents didn't get her out, too, to punish her for her doings. I pitied her when her parents just left her while she was begging them to let her out, but when I remembered what she did, all the pity I felt vanished like a bubble. When she got released, she was immediately sent to Japan, where her brother was working. I only heard that news from Daddy since he was the one who was handling Ava.

I've been attending my school well. My grades are high enough to be on the list of high honors. Lila has been achieving her dream so well while Alena and Nora have been stressing themselves because of their dreams. Joseph has been doing so well, too, because his grades are high enough to be on the list of high honors. He's still playing piano, but only if he has time. He's choosing his study over his career. He's serious when he said that he wanted to handle the music school placed in the Philippines.

I am doing well. I'm doing so well, living in Los Angeles. Joseph and I are civil even if it's so obvious that we still love and want each other. But like what I said, I want to grow by myself, and he's letting me do it without interfering with anything. He's minding his own business like how I mind my own business.

Still, he told me that he'll wait for me to reach the growth that I want. He'll wait for me while he's also growing by himself. We talked on his birthday a year ago, he told me that he wanted to court me, the thing that he failed to do before because when he confessed his feelings, we took that as a sign that we're already together. Hence, Joseph is officially courting me while waiting for me to be ready again with relationships. To be honest, I think I'm already ready, but thinking about the damages that I have done years ago made me feel like I don't deserve to be ready with anything.

I still think it's not the right time for us. Maybe it's because of the guilt I've been carrying all these years, but I won't stop crossing paths until the guilt I've been carrying will be gone. Ayokong sumubok ng mga bagay-bagay nang hindi pa ako handa. O baka naman ay handa na talaga ako pero takot gumawa ng mga desisyon dahil sa naging kalabasan ng mga bagay-bagay noon. I was rush before, and I don't want that to happen again. It's scary and traumatizing for people around me.