CATALYST ☆ b.katsuki

·.·★ one ★·.·

"i drown myself so i don't sink (there is an art to self destruction)"

chapter one

☆

10 years later

It was past midnight when Noa sat on the roof, her feet dangling in the wind as she leaned back on her hands, gazing up at the sky.

She had always found the stars so fascinating, how huge balls of hydrogen and helium could burn so brightly in the galaxy. Humans often looked at stars and tried to make a science out of them. Stupid. Why try to overcomplicate such beauty? Why can't the stars just be stars? Noa also happens to have a bit of a grudge against scientists, but you can't really blame her.

Some people have a certain response to trauma that causes them to forget absolutely everything about what happened to them, the lucky bastards. Unfortunately for Noa, she can remember every specific thing that happened to her in perfect detail. Every needle that pierced her skin, every beatdown, the days she would spend in a moldy cell with no food or water. She can remember everything, everything except her childhood before the capture. Normally, she did her best to block out anything before the age of 7, but sometimes she wondered.

Only when she tried to find the memories, it was like there was nothing there. She might as well have been born in that place. Sometimes it felt like she was still there, lying on the floor, no concept of time or reality.

Bandages were wrapped around the entirety of both of her legs, the underneath blistered and burned from training with Shoto and Endeavor. It's all for Shotos benefit, of course. She wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't. If she didn't spend all of her time trying to better Shoto, she doubted she would even be here. She isn't stupid, she can tell where she isn't wanted, where she doesn't fit in. She knows what she needs to do to be allowed a home and food to eat.

She can't say that she enjoys being used as a personal, living punching bag for him though. Not that he had any choice in the matter either.

Don't get Noa wrong, she will always be grateful to the Todoroki family for taking her in, but sometimes she wonders what life would be like if things were different. If she was never taken from whatever family she came from, never even known about things like villians. Would she have been normal? Or has her brain always been this way? Who would she have been if nothing ever happened to her? Where would she be? What about her parents? Where did she get her hair color from, her eyes? Where did she get her anger?

It'd probably be smart to get off this roof and try to get some sleep, but sleep hardly ever comes easy for her. So here she is, on a ledge with her feet hanging off, listening to music and looking up at the stars. She senses a presence behind her, her quirk noting the change in temperature. She knew who it was without having to turn around.

"Hey, Sho." She mumbles, keeping her eyes on the sky as she takes out her headphones. Her brother sits beside her, also letting his legs dangle.

"It's dangerous up here, you know"

She shrugs, pointing to the sky. "Aren't they pretty?"

"Hm?"

"The stars."

He looks up at them, thinking. "They're just stars."

Noa keeps finding herself envying his lack of emotion, ever since they started growing up. With her, it's either the full force of every emotion or nothing at all. No in-between. She sighs heavily. "You just have a hard time seeing the beauty in the little things."