never the same

chapter 22

Lucifers P.O.V

I put her back on the bed slowly laying her down making sure i dont hurt her anymore than what i already have.

Slowly retreating my hand from behind her head with my lips so so close to her i look into her eyes wishing that we was in different circumstances where i could just kiss her when ever i want make her laugh an smile again, giving her a small smile i move back to the corner off the hospital room just wainting on a lucky star that she will forgive me for everything. 

Hours go bye everyone telling her how much they missed her an how much she missed being asleep for so long, thank god no ones tried taking her from me a again because i bearly held back before if it wasnt for Inifinty jumping up hurting her self i would off plummet Ace an Luke into next week an they would off been the next people we came to see fighting for the lives, no one will ever take my Infinity away from me no one! 

"Right well i guess we will get going we have talked you ear off since you have woken up, are you staying with her Lucifer?" 
Magic looks at me with a smile 
" well thats a dumb question he hasn't left this room since shes been in here, do you even remember what the sun feels like or looks like for that matter" 
Hunter looks at me laughing, shrugging off his lame joke
" a man like me doesnt need sun he just needs his queen healthy an happy " 
Sin sniggers at me patting my shoulder 
" good luck man" 

They all leave the room not before they all form a line to give her there hugs an kisses, if Jordan was old enough i would off killed him by now which is immature but God  i never knew it was possible to be jealous off  a 10 year old until now well until the little raskull came into our lifes I wouldn't change him for the world though he just loves LOVES to get under my skin!  

Taking a seat i look at the floor not dearing to look up not wanting her to feel like she has to talk to me just because im in here, because she really doesn't I mean im the reason she is in here
" you know you dont have to sit that far away right " 
looking at her for a few seconds while i move to the seat closer to her bed just to make sure i heard her properly an that I dont get to close to her.
" how you feeling " 
showing her beauty through her amazing smile
" could be better but i guess this comes with being kidnapped an shot " 
looking back down feeling a shamed off how everything turned out. I never ment for her to get hurt I was jsut angry at my self and I toke it out on my her an my children
" this isnt your fault none off it was, yes you said some mean disgusting stuff to me but you didnt ask him to come" 

Standing up i put my hand on my head an being to pace the room trying to calm my self down trying to stop the constant voice in my head telling me everything I dont need to hear
" you couldnt off know no one did its no one fault its just shit hand off cards i got given it isnt like im a good luck charm im always on the bad side off luck " 
look at her i shake my head putting my hands on the bar at the bottom off her bed Squeezing the bar tighter in my hands thinking off all the pain an heart brake shes been through an yes I couldnt heal her all I did was hurt her more more than anyone ever has!
" i should off none i should off protected you better. I should off talked to you about how I was feeling not shouting abuse to you shouting stuff I never ever ment ,I really didn't mean it none off it I was just ........ angry at my self for being so scared off turning out like my dad which I ended up doing anyway I was so scared but i didn't think about how scared I was losing you an I did an god I regret everything from that day to this one an ill regret it for the rest off the days I'm still here breathing!! " 

play the song 

she looks down an start fiddling with her hands, one tear rolls out off her eye and down her pale skin
" whats the point off protecting people you dont care about, you made it clear the day you walked out you dont care, you might regret it an not ment it but you Said it and it hurt it so fucking bad"