never the same

Chapter 16

realy long chapter .  multiple P.O.V

LUCIFER P.O.V

it's be exactly 24hours 45 minutes and 34seconds since this all went on since I got back Infinity but lost her at the same time.

Sitting in the hospital with my head down I can feel the hate radiating off everyone no one will talk look or even acknowledge that I'm here I'm hurting to. Do I have to right to be hurting when I caused all this ?

I feel so numb like my blood circulating has just came to a halt but I'm still living this hell feeling helpless knowing I put her in here makes my stomach turn 100 different way, I can't bring my self to look up from the floor because if I do it makes it real it makes my heart hurt like I'm living though the worst nightmare an all I want to do is wake up to Infinity there smile at me with her infectious smile her pearly whites blinding my vision, the way her eye crinkle at the side when she smiles an her eye twinkle.

I don't know what to think or feel anymore but hurt lost an loneliness is all i feel and I hate it.

I want the feeling to stop but it won't an to sit here wishing they would stop when Infinity was sat in a dingy dirty damp room in the middle off nowhere with someone who hurt her more than anyone in this world wishing wanting  someone anyone to come save her

someone walking throw the door telling her that it time to go home someone to walk through the door and tell her she isn't alone anymore and he can't hurt her that she belongs at home in my arms with her family and friends surrounding her but no I couldn't protect her I couldn't do the one thing I promised I would do!

now look she's led deadly like on a hospital room carrying my baby with everyone who loves her in a hospital room waiting for someone to come through telling us she's going to live she going to grow old watching her kids have kids enjoying life she deserved and worked so fucking hard for but no NO i fucked up I killed her I've done this.
Turnes out I am my parents. Just fucking like them !

Not being able to stay in this room anymore I jump up turning around to everyone looking at the hurt I've caused everyone I see red blotchy teary eyes of everyone I look shaking my head not being able hold back the storm hiding behind my eyes the tears start to run uncontrollably down my face not trying to wipe them or hide them

" I am so sorry if I could turn back in time and not get involved with magic and Infinity I would but then I would be suffering I would still be the arrogant jerk that she met she changed me for the better she helped me see that life isn't just a curse it's a dream and she helped me dream off having a family watching each other grow old and see how our kids grow and help them through there mistakes but  iv fucked up I throw that all away because off fear, when Inifinty lives because she will I'll leave and use will never have to see me again but please I need to see if she will live her and my baby"
looking down I catch a breath then looking up
"I'm so so fucking sorry Infinity I feared I would turn out like my parents and destroy everything but turns out there was nothing to fear because I was my parents from start father like son" turning around I leave to go nowhere but I couldn't stay in a room knowing iv hurt everyone in that room everyone iv grown to love.

SIN. P. O. V

Bouncing my knees I look at the wall iv been staring at for the past god knows when until Lucifer stands up from from his seat so fast I thought he was going to take off until he looks at us an you can see the regret and hurt he is feeling I just look down shaking my head

He should feel like that if he didn't say what he said she still would be here an not in a hospital bed fighting for hers and the baby's life I'm so disappointed in him, he opens his mouth saying expressing his hurt and guilt to everyone
" I am so sorry if I could turn back in time and not get involved with magic and Infinity I would but then I would be suffering I would still be the arrogant jerk that she met she changed me for the better she helped me see that life isn't just a curse it's a dream and she helped me dream off having a family watching each other grow old and see how our kids grow and help them through there mistakes but  iv fucked up I throw that all away because off fear, where Inifinty lives because she will I'll leave and use will never have to see me again but please I need to see if she will live her and my baby" he looks down struggling to carry on trying to hold back from getting up to hug him
"I'm so so fucking sorry Infinity I feared I would turn out like my parents and destroy everything but turns out there was nothing to fear because I was my parents from start father like son" looking at him seeing him brake down with every word he says.
I went to get up just as he walks out not having a clue where to go or who to because he is so lost.