THE LINE - YVESEUL

ELEVEN

Haseul had to admit, her relationship with Sooyoung was a little awkward these days. They weren't as close as they used to be, Haseul got busy with exams and Sooyoung both with school and her mom. Haseul knew it wasn't Sooyoung's fault and honestly, maybe she needed a little break from Sooyoung. It couldn't be healthy for her heart to always beat as fast as it did when she was with the older girl.

Haseul called it the line. In a friendship, in any relationship, it's important to set boundaries, parameters. There were certain ways she could interact with family members, friends, girlfriends, children, seniors. There was a line you don't cross. The one Haseul deemed the most important was the line between friends and lovers.

Because Haseul was lesbian, she dated women but she also had very close female friendships. Some might say they bordered on romantic, but Haseul was very clear that they weren't. She loved her friends, but she wasn't in love with them. She didn't look at Jinsoul in a romantic light, so she didn't treat Jinsoul like a lover.

Sooyoung's relationship with her seemed to bend and blur those lines. They cuddled, they hugged, they were close; not crossing the line. They told each other their deepest secrets, shared their insecurities; not crossing the line. They kissed, not on the lips, just the foreheads and cheeks. Sometimes the insides of the wrists and Sooyoung would sometimes peck Haseul's shoulder absentmindedly when they were watching a show.

That didn't cross the line, did it? Haseul kissed Jinsoul sometimes, only if one of them was upset and needed comfort. If Haseul was crying, Jinsoul would kiss the top of her head and shush her sobs, stroking her back and telling her everything was alright. If Jinsoul was sad, Haseul did the same. That wasn't romantic love, so what was Sooyoung to her?

(Sometimes in the middle of the night, when Sooyoung stayed over and the moon was peeking through the curtains, when Sooyoung's hand rested comfortably on the small of her back and they exchanged hushed words, talking of the future, Haseul felt something. This had to be more than platonic. Friends didn't intertwine their legs and hold each other close like this, not with the way Sooyoung looking at her.

"Do I have something on my face?" Haseul asked, embarrassed by Sooyoung's gaze. It was almost to dark to see, but warmth emitted from Haseul's cheeks.

"No, you look perfect," Sooyoung replied easily.

How can it be fair for you to have this much control over my heart? )

Haseul didn't like to think about it anymore.

It was the final game of the basketball season, and of course, Haseul was in the stands near the bottom, fists balled up in her 39 Diner sweatshirt as she watched Sooyoung shoot hoops to prepare for the game.

It was the big one. They were well known as one of the best teams in the region, and at some point they had to start playing the male teams since there weren't enough female ones. Haseul was nervous for her, and Jinsoul hadn't even shown up yet.

"Hey," Sooyoung walked over to her, breathing heavily. "You got any water?"

"Of course," Haseul handed her a bottle from her bag. "You okay?"

Sooyoung nodded, her nostrils flaring as she surveyed the crowd. Several of the girls behind Haseul called to Sooyoung, but it was like Sooyoung couldn't even see them. She easily grabbed Haseul's hand, squeezing it comfortingly.