Love Of My Life (Big Ninjago Jaya Book)

Loss (S3)

Events in this chapter start right after the last episode of season 3: Titanium Ninja. Long chapter, almost 7k, so prepare yourself time to read this.

I've added a song to this chapter cause I think the lyrics could so fittingly describe Jay's feelings towards Nya when he is leaving the team.

~N~ symbol indicates that it's a flashback.

Jay:

Emptiness

I blink my eyes while staring at the wooden paneled ceiling and force out of my mouth a heavy sigh. It pains me, almost like I wouldn't be able to catch my breath. Like I would be drowning to the depths of dark waters, slowly and surely. How ridiculous. I'm alive, but the most important thing, the one thing that should be so easy and effortless for my body to do, is more harder than ever in my life. I've broken some bones, fractured my joints. Had wounds, scratches, bites, stings, bruises all over my body.
Yet this feels much more painful than any of those. My chest hurts so much.
Couldn't this pain just go away?

I turn my stare towards the walls. Still pain and discomfort. I wrinkle my forehead, huffing quietly in frustration. I'm a human scum laying on my bed like this for days now, smelling and phlegmatic. An empty shell of a person I really am. My mother would have a stroke if she would see me now.
This feeling is like when an enemy strikes you on the gut without warning, busting all the air out from your lungs. Anxiety fills my body. The feeling mixes with deep layers of sorrow that wrap my emotions inside like a tight silk ribbon, squeezing my broken heart, too tight to make me inhale.
The feeling of loss. The feeling when you've got your heart broken.

And I realise. This is the same feeling I'd felt when standing on that empty crossroads in New Ninjago City. And the streets had been covered all around with my brother's ice.

Zane

A part of my ninja family.
My brother.
My fellow team mate and friend.
Gone.

That was the first person I realized I lost that day.

Another Loss

I swear by the almighty Spinjitzu Master and the great Fritz Donagan, that day was the worst day of my life.

~N~

Having been already whooped by the Overlord, my brother in his ultimate unselfishness had decided to make the final attempt to save all of Ninjago from this evil. And it had worked. But with a great cost. A big explosion caused by Zane's powers destroyed Overlord, but my friend also with it. The whole crossroads was a mess after. A deep silence was filling the whole city. There had been a lot of commotion, voices and sounds before. Overlord's malice words echoing as he declared of defeating us ninja. Then Zane had made his move. After that nothing. And as we crawled out of the sewer and inspected the chaos around us I remember Cole picking something from the ground. As the rest of us got closer to him I heard him shout loudly "No!"
He was in utter disbelief. The desperate tone in his voice had told me already before I had seen it that Zane hadn't make it. I grew instantly restless of realizing his passing and the deep silence around us made the air suffocating. This wasn't comfortable situation to me at all. I hated silence that was caused by something terrible and I didn't want to lose anybody , ever. I didn't like it when people disappeared from my life any way. I even still had to keep some contact to my old classmates from elementary school so that I wouldn't feel like I had lost the relationships that once were important to me. I would feel somehow lonely and vulnerable otherwise.
  As I neared the place where Cole, Nya and P.I.X.A.L already stood, it was a sight that I wish never to see again: Cole holding in his hands a part of Zane's face. The sight of that felt so surreal and same time made a strong need to run somewhere from the uneasy feeling I got. Even as android, that piece was a part of his body. It was the same as any of our bodies would have been laying shattered in pieces on the streets.
  As I was trying to collect myself, Nya busted in tears and P.I.X.A.L buried her face into her own hands. Not a sound came out of her mouth. I couldn't comfort her though. I looked at Nya, a strong need was telling me to hold her, my girlfriend in my arms. I needed to comfort the person I cared for most first. Give her all my care.
And so I reached out with my hands towards her, to let her know I would be there for her. Then I saw her smash into Cole.