Love Of My Life (Big Ninjago Jaya Book)

Who am I? (S2/S3)

Well hello there! I apologize for the long break between updates :) Real life was calling me more so had to prioritize...buuut now I'm hopefully more here. I try to keep the updates more frequent in this book.

This chapter's events happen between the episodes:
The Rise of The Spinjitzu Master and The Surge.

I've dedicated the whole of this chapter to describe how lost and confused she was before the events of season 3 start. This is my way to rationalize why Jaya slowly started to drift apart after the Perfect Match result.

An extra-long chapter cause I just really wanted to wrap up the whole season 2 finally. So I hope you don't fall asleep with this nearly 7k long chapter.

Nya's POV:

The atmosphere in Ninjago City's General Hospital is what you could call as 'an unspeakably serene bubble'.
  It's almost hard to believe that in this building there are countless patients who are receiving medical care since the staff seems so laid back and peaceful as they go about their duties.
This place truly tries to send a vibe of healing and recovery. I am impressed.
To me, hospitals have always shown themselves just as places of hectic facilities where nurses run around stressed and patients occupy even the corridors.
Places of suffering and loss.

And It's kind of hard to admit, but I feel like this unusual calmness is slowly starting to get to me.

My thoughts keep wandering in the events of previous weeks. Utterly confusing me, and at the same time, I'm just hoping to forget that it ever happened.
   I have skillfully started drowning reason and emotion all at the same time, hiding them deep in the abyss of my unconscious mind. And the only emotion that has managed to flounder now to the surface of my mind is; uncertainty.

My eyes peer stubbornly the informative medical posters that have been hung on the walls as many questions crowd my head.
Who am I really?
What's my role in all of this?

And some crazy part of me would actually, almost prefer to be in the middle of a battlefield right now, surrounded by destruction and chaos -so I wouldn't have to think. A fight would truly serve as a good distraction from my buzzing thoughts.

I flinch.
Do I truly hope affray around me than bliss, just to forget and stop dwelling on things?

Or, could I just be able to stop thinking at all?

                              ~N~

We are all waiting for the same thing. Well not all of us. What I mean is me waiting with my brother, and Jay and Cole in the same patient room where a nurse brought me back after I was first examined elsewhere in private. The nurses said that it would take a while before the doctor would come back with our test results.
How long was that 'awhile' gonna be?

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I suck at being patient.
Or atleast those times when I'm yearning for something to happen.
Now that is to get out of this place and do something. Anything.

I don't really even want to know how the matter affected me. I just want to forget that it ever happened. What I did when I was being controlled by it. Trying to take my brothers-in-arms down. I feel so deeply ashamed of it. It doesn't make sense but I do, although there was nothing I could have done to stop it.
As I think of it I close my eyes in defeat. But the absurd guilt comes linkering in front of me, slapping itself brutely straight to my face.

I fought, I lost.
The forces of it were more powerful than my mind.
I need to be fine.
There's no time in hanging on things you cannot change. Need to move on.