Lisa's confessions

Chapter 1

I'm feeling very ecstatic today! There's no better way to start your morning than with a puff of some 'Mary Jane'. Remember when we were 10 and promised to never do drugs? Well now I'm 18 and hopefully I'll never do meth. Okay....movement at this point is crucial. I'm feeling too relaxed but I've gotta get up! I toss some clorets in my mouth and I'm ready to go.

My mom and I are on our way to grab some brunch before she drops me off to school. "Education is the key to success." My mom always recites. But is it the only key to success? If it were up to me, I'd just look for a job because school doesn't really teach us about daily challenges or how to make money. Tell me how on earth Euclidean geometry going to help me in life.

I dread going to that big building of Ryder learning institute(RLI). The walls are so tall you'd swear we are in prison and not at school. Educators are.....educators. The colour of the walls are gloomy, the uniform is hideous. Human beings in general are vexing. Let's not even get to Ms Reynolds our principal because WOW!

I'm in the car laughing at mama's jokes even the unfunny ones. Who will laugh, If I don't? I am literally all she's got, her only family. The wrinkles on her face symbolize her strength, hard work and perseverance. I love her joy lines because they show how much she loves to smile.

She has raised me desolate, with no one to care for her or guide her through motherhood. No one to love her but she loved me unconditionally. Her dark skin compliments every outfit, she is sexy and sensual. Always looks and smells good. Beautiful is one word to describe her.

Wena Mungwe omuhle, Wena ofana nesitsha sokubolekwa, oGombase noNyathukazi. Abathebula izalukazana. Wena Sbenge simabala ondlu zikhanya ilanga ,abavela endlebeni yendlovu izizwe zabikelana. Ntinta, Mabele, Mungwe!! I can't help but smile everytime she praises me with my clan names.

I was born in Pimville, Kliptown as they call it. Part of the wider Soweto township. I was named after my great grandmother Lisakhanya Ntshingila. When she took her last breath, I was born. Lisakhanya means the 'the glory of God still shines'. I will stay shining honey! I am Proudly South African and I am fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. This my story, these are my confessions.

"Lisa shesha, you are going to be late for school." My mom says rushing me out the car.

I quickly rush out before she tells me to get lunch at the school canteen. Eewww just imagine. I swear those people be feeding us poison. I order amagwinya for my mom and a sandwich for myself.

Confession 1: I'll never forget I was a 15 year old pulling 20 year olds!

As I wait the sudden change of atmosphere makes my hairstrands jolt up, my intestines change position.
I feel a presence I have always longed to feel. I recognize his voice as he speaks. In hope that my instincts are wrong, I slowly tilt my head to look behind me.
My eyes meet his and my heart starts beating abnormally hard against my chest. I look at this person I once loved but he's looking at some other girl.

His smile was the only assurance I needed to get through the rest of the day. He was the topic of my lunch time, all I thought about, my most remembered prayers, my deepest secrets, my troubles, my insecurities, my heart desire lied with him.

He always had the right response and his warm embrace was my assurance that everything is gonna be alright. We used to sit at the Montrose corner and smoke our troubles away. With the inhale of smoke and the release of authenticity. I didn't care about the world and the only acceptance I needed was from my mom and from him.

His name is Sbusiso but people in the hood call him Sbu. We dated for like a year and 8 months. I was faithful and devoted to him but he couldn't return the favour. Imagine catching your boyfriend having a threesome, with the same girls who were rooting for your relationship to end. I should have known better.