This will be one of my last chapters. I know. Devastating. After this I don't know what I'll do, here on wattpad. I suppose I'll have to write a real story, but I've tried that and I'm not that good.
So, One Direction have a new song. Hm. Unsurprisingly, I am not impressed. There is a lot of repetition. A whole chunk of the song is: Na na na na na na na na. Na na na na na na na na. Na na na na na na na na. How long did it take the geniuses who wrote it to come up with that? I mean, I could come up with something better than that. It sounds like the siren of a police car. Jeezy chreezy.
But maybe, I hear you say, they can redeem themselves with the technical skill required to play this song. Maybe a few complex chords, a terrific drum solo, a classical orchestra.
Nope.
Sorry to disappoint, my music-loving friend. No skill here. The 1D zone is completely devoid of musical talent. Well, unless you class the ability to produce generic sounds, average singing and the same four chords as talent. I checked the guitar chords for this song. Let me share them with you: E, A, C#m, B. All the way through. All the live-long day. Genius.
I wonder who writes these songs. Is it 1D themselves? Is it Harry, Zain, Nile, Louis and The other one? Is it a random group of guys (or gals) who are being paid thousands to churn this stuff out? Is it professional song writers that are making a living from crapping this out? Hm. Money well spent.
Money. Well. Spent.
I hope you're happy with your music, One Direction, because I'm not.
This is Emiliah, speaking on behalf of all sane people everywhere. Live long and prosper.
Yours, disgruntled listener.
P.S. Did you know that gruntled is a word? Wattpad doesn't say it's a word, but it's in the dictionary. See, you're laughing and learning. Yay! And you're voting. You are definitely voting. You may not think you want to vote, but you do. So you are voting. Now. Right now...
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I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)
FanfictionOK, I lied. I don't like one direction. I really don't understand the hype about them. I mean, they're just a group of average singers. Right? Does no one else get that? Please, all 1D fans, read this and try to understand my point of view. Ew. Cove...
