I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)

Justin has a Booboo

Greetings!

I had an assembly at school today. It was about comic relief and playing in the background was "One Way or Another", the comic relief song. As I walked into said assembly I honestly thought the song was being sung by women. Honestly. Oh, and there was a good section of "na"s too. Whatever dignity the song had before is completely lost now.

That song was ruined by one direction. I mean, I was never a huge fan of it anyway but now I just feel a little bit sick every time I hear it. I dread to think what the video is like. I might melt.

But guess what? It went straight to number one. An average cover of (in my opinion) an average song. That's what our society values above all else. There are so many brilliant songs out there but the one we nominate as our best is... that?

I think everyone agreed that the original was better. Well, the directioners didn't agree but they don't really count as people. Sorry.

Okay, I suppose I can forgive it because it's for comic relief. The greater good and all (Hot Fuzz reference). You know, for something that is supposed to be funny, comic relief is really depressing. There were lots of pictures of dead babies and crying mothers and starving people... Sad.

I hate being serious. I'll stop now.

Meanwhile, Justin Beiber was two hours late for a concert, despite wearing two expensive watches. Irony at its finest!

He also had to leave stage because his chest hurt. Aw, poor Justin. You wouldn't catch a builder leaving in the middle of a job because he had a headache, would you? I'm watching rugby at the moment. A player had his ear practically hanging off (he needed 18 stitches) and still managed to play, and score. In another match a man had two dislocated fingers, so he simply had them popped back into place by the referee then continued to play.

But no no, poor Justin. His tummy felt funny.

Then, as if to top it all off, he was upset because he couldn't get his underage friends into a night club. He said on twitter that it was the worst birthday ever. My God, you're a 19 year-old millionaire with an army of screaming fans and worldwide fame. How bad could your birthday possibly be? Really?

Oh, I do love laughing at famous people. If you love it too then please vote for this chapter- it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers!

P.S. I was incredibly tired when I wrote this so if there are any spelling or grammar errors please let me know. Thanks!