Oh, I have missed you 1D "fan"fic. I don't why I ever though of leaving. I'll never leave again. It'll be just us now. You and me. Forever.
Today I had an argument with my friend about whether One Direction are ugly. The argument got heated (and I had debate club to go to) so I had to leave but I think we can all agree that one direction are ugly. I mean, they aren't hideous, just mildly grotesque.
My arguments were the following.
Un. They look womanly. My adversary said that they didn't look womanly at all, but that they were, in fact, manly. Oh dear. I couldn't disagree with this point more. There is not a single whisker upon any of their chins, none of them have a remotely square jaw and I'm pretty sure they have breasts. We can't confirm that for sure but I reckon that's true. It isn't even like they look like camp men, but actual women. (I direct you to the picture on the side. Come on guys. Even I'm more masculine than that.)
Deux, they all look fake. I'd be willing to put money on the fact that they all wear makeup. I wouldn't really mind that- a lot of male celebrities wear makeup- but I reckon all their photos are airbrushed so they look perfect. I bet they are made up by stylists every time they leave the house and have designers to pick out all their clothes. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they are very honest and down-to-Earth people, but I feel that they are more like barbie dolls with someone to make them, style them and tell them what to do.
Trois. There are no other points but I wanted to show off the fact that I can speak a little bit of french. That is all.
My opponent said that they... well, I can't remember what her defence was but I genuinely think it was a pretty good point. That doesn't make her right though, it just makes her good at arguing. Don't say in the comments that she's stupid because she's a good friend of mine, despite having a poor taste in music and men. She was arguing well and we both had an equal number of followers, but then she said something that I just couldn't handle.
One Direction are more manly than the cast of The Hobbit.
Dear god, I could have killed someone.
How could you possibly say that? How could you possibly say that?
She claimed that braiding your hair made you girly. Well, if someone braided their hair now I would agree but in The Hobbit braiding was just being true to the characters of the book. The thing about them was that despite the pretty plaits they still managed to look fearsome. They could also wear skirts and still look manly.
Then she said that she didn't like beards. How can you not like beards? She claimed that the dwarves (yes, dwarves. Not dwarfs. Silly Americans) in The Hobbit had stupid beards. For her information, those beards were both cool and slimming. By making their heads look bigger they made their waists look small, and thus they gave the illusion of being taller. I don't even think they need to look slimmer. They are awesome the way they are. They don't need to be airbrushed.
In summary, The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings is better than One Direction.
P.S. I love Aragorn. Not the actor who plays him, just Aragorn. This is the life of a nerd and it is fantastic.
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I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)
FanfictionOK, I lied. I don't like one direction. I really don't understand the hype about them. I mean, they're just a group of average singers. Right? Does no one else get that? Please, all 1D fans, read this and try to understand my point of view. Ew. Cove...
