I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)

The Battle of the Internet

In a far away realm (the Internet), there lived a brave and useful site. He didn't know it yet, but he was about to become something great. His name was Sir Wattpad. He was destined to combat all the rubbish and pointlessness in the World Wide Web, but in order to do this, he had to raise an army.

Three strong families wanted to fight alongside wattpad in this war against evil (and pointlessness).

Family number one, the Chav family. Everyone in this family voted for and fanned each other, even though each member had done nothing. They enjoyed being very loud and reckless when expressing opinions, even though their opinions were usually wrong. Though they were sometimes good with physical fighting, though they had a poor grasp of tactical warfare. They spoke about celebrities and girls and boys, and they communicated in a strange language that no other family could understand. Here are some brief translations:

lol- a brief acronym to denote great amusement in chat conversations.

omg- oh, my deity

swag- superior wisdom and identity, though there are many varying translations.

heya babe can ya giv me sum hlp cuz i hav boy trubl- Hello there good sir, if it is not too much of an imposition, would you be kind enough to advise me on the subject of infant males, for I have been experiencing some difficulty regarding the subject?

Family two, the Nerd family. Though they were looked down on by most other families, the nerds considered themselves the strongest, and claimed that all other families were jealous. They enjoyed reading, role-play games, science experiments and puzzles. This made them excellent at tactical and biological warfare. Their typical garb consisted of large, clear glasses and cardigans.

Family three, the Artist family. Respected by all, they generally kept to themselves, and enjoyed quiet time with books, paints and sewing equipment. They weren't very good on the battlefield, but loved drawing maps, and were vastly wealthy because they sold all their masterpieces.

And finally, family four, the Directioner family. Though this was a HUGE family, they had many enemies, and were only allied with the Beliebers. They were slowly taking over the realm, and become stronger by the second. They worshipped five goddesses, and constantly listened to their teachings. All could recite each holy script by heart. Half of the family members were valuable to wattpad, but half were awful and useless. Even so, each Directioner voted for and fanned every other person in the family. It was an unusual system.

And so, in this ancient world of mystery, wattpad was left to decide which family he would ask to join him on his quest. After many sleepless nights, he chose the Nerds and the Artists.

But wait.

He was celebrating his first victory over evil, but he got a bit drunk. In his moment of intoxication he called upon the Chavs and the Directioners and asked them to join the army. In just a matter of weeks, the war was lost. Let us mourn for dear Wattpad.

You see, it wasn't the Directioners that ruined the cause, nor was it the Chavs. No one expected it, but soon there were Chavy Directioners, who poisoned the water, and the army slowly crumbled. It was idiocy that failed the Internet and all who used it. It was stupidity.

But hold on, there is a sign of life in Wattpad. All families must put their differences aside and make the Internet classy again! PEOPLE OF INTERNET, THIS IS YOUR CALLING! WE MUST UNITE, STAND STRONG AND WAGE WAR ON THE MORONS!

FOR WATTPAD! CHARGE!

But before I decide to like you, you need to tell me what family you're from. I'm definately a Nerd. Who are you?