I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)

I am Legend

But I digress. As I said at the beginning, one direction suck. There is very little left to say, except to complain in a little more detail. If I elaborate on past complaints, I can pass this off as a new chapter. What a legend I am.

So, some more of my incessant rant. I thought I would discuss the thing that really annoys me about one direction. It is difficult to pin-point what irritates me most, but for your entertainment I will try. Hmm, what is their most annoying feature... ah! It's their faces! Ok, maybe that is vain of me. I have no problem at all with ugly people and I think that no one is perfect. I don't expect people to be perfect, and I like everybodies' differences and unique qualities. They aren't even ugly. What I don't understand is why these unattractive adolescents are heralded as angels and gods. Because they aren't. Do you think they are cute as buttons? No. Stop it. Wrong.

They are a group of boys. They are no more or no less attractive than any other thirteen year-olds that I see on the street, so why all the screaming fans? Yes, they have mouths, out of which come noise, but most people have that ability and some can play instruments as well. Some are ridiculously talented and intelligent but don't have floppy hair and pale faces. And this, people, is my main objection to one direction. (Yay, that rhymes!)

I was walking in town the other day. I had to buy some pot noodles because it was the holiday, and when I am on my own in the house I live on a diet of processed, instant noodles. I was just walking towards Tesco,* when outside I saw a busker who was about fifteen. He was playing an awesome, blue, electric guitar connected to a cheap amp. He also had a long microphone, and sang brilliantly.  He looked intelligent, smart and dignified. He was singing "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone", which is a pretty cool song. I had respect for him.

I gave him money and walked away. He deserves my money and respect, not auto-tuned, air-brushed girls. I don't know about you, but that's what I think.

And this is why I don't love one direction nor wish I could marry them. Yours, Me.

*I don't know if you have Tesco in other countries, besides England. If you don't know what Tesco is then you can disregard this footnote. If you do know Tesco then I'd like to thell you that I hate it. It is trying to become the ruler of the (or at least England) and take over our lives. In the future, Tesco will sell everything the mind can dream of. Everyone will work at Tesco, everyone will shop at Teco and people may even live in Tesco. Earth will be renamed Tesco and aliens who try to invade it will be sold vegetables. They will leave with the phrase, "Every little helps" ringing in their alien ears. Anyhoo...