Oh One Direction. You so silly.
I haven't written this in a long time so I have two things to catch up on. Sorry. I might split this into two chapters because I'm horrible like that. In fact, I think that's what I'll do. Hooray for planning!
Anyway, they released a perfume which you can buy in August. It looks... Well, it looks exactly as you'd imagine a 1d perfume to look. All pink and sparkly and twee. It has a crown on it for some reason. I think that's supposed to link to England but, being English myself, I really don't want to be associated with them. I wish they would leave. The only advantage of Justine Berber is that he's very far away, and I hate being reminded that one direction were made in England.
I live in the same country as them. Dear God, that's depressing.
The perfume is called "Our Moment". Don't you think that's a bit self centred? They named the product after something great that happened to them, not to you. You don't see Bill Gates calling his new version of windows "My Incredible Wealth". Why not call it "Your Moment"? At least then I would feel good wearing it, not just feeling depressed because I'm not lucky enough to share their moment.
Harry Styles said it smelled like summer. Summer smells like hay fever, dog poo and sweat. That is possibly the worst fragrance in the world. I would like it if it smells like flowers or oranges or something, not just a random time of the year. Be more specific, God dammit!
By the way, Harry Styles managed to spray perfume in his eye during the launch. What a legend.
However, despite all that, one direction fans seem pretty excited about it. So, in true 1d style, I'm going to make my own perfume.
It's called "My Boundless Talent That You Don't Have Ha Ha Ha" and it smells like Tuesday. It is pink with a big pile of fish and chips made out of mesh on the top. The box is pink with photos of me on it because I'm great. Will you buy some?
I will see you in the previously mentioned next chapter. Bye!
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I love 1D and I wish I could marry them. (1D "fan"fic)
FanfictionOK, I lied. I don't like one direction. I really don't understand the hype about them. I mean, they're just a group of average singers. Right? Does no one else get that? Please, all 1D fans, read this and try to understand my point of view. Ew. Cove...
