JOURNEY TO JESUS

Enjoy Your New Life

"I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die." (John 11:25-26)

Now, Lazarus was ill... so the sisters send word to him saying, "Master the one you love is ill." When Jesus heard this he said, "This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through him. Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. (John 11: 1-6)

Have you ever been in life and death situation before? Maybe in a car accident or health crisis? May I asked if that gives you a life-changing experience? Is this your second life or thrice maybe? To me, I have almost died. Six years ago, I was battling an illness for 4 years. It started first from long-term insomnia. At that time, mental health is not yet a priority. I have lost my loved ones one after another, lost a job, taking risks in my dreams, and coping with family separation. For two years of having insomnia, my eyes become so dry from digital strain and lack of rest. That was the time there were only few researches about digital eye strain. Many of my friends doesn't understand what I've gone through why I have to wear shades even at night. I was ashamed of it but I couldn't helped it. My eyes felt like it was prickled by dozens of needles all around and worse it is now piercing through my pupils. I have to protect my eyes that even glasses isn't enough.

I've gone to many doctors and they told me cataracts are developing in my eyes. One doctor suggested to wear shades at all times, and so I did, swallowing my pride and shame. Passerby mocked me when I passed the streets at night, "Where's the sun?" To be honest, lights of cars and motorcycle blasted my eyes at night more than the sunshine. And as if it's not yet enough, I was diagnosed of bronchitis, hyperacidity, my period wasn't normal, I was constipated and I felt pain all over my body. But still, my insomnia intensified.

I'm dying. I'm already waiting for death to come so I can relate to this proceeding verse.

Jesus has said to them, "Lazarus has died. And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to him...When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. (John 11:17)

That time, I asked God why is it my healing so slow? Am I really going to die? Did he already abandon me? Jesus have heard that he was ill, and yet he remained for two days in the place where he was (John 11: 1-6). Why? Why, Lord? Did you not care about me?

I was like that when Mary and Martha complained to him. "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11: 21, 32). Lord, if you were here I wouldn't have been sick. Why did you let the wicked prosper while your servant who have been faithful to you, you let her suffer. I served my aunt and prayed that she may healed from lung cancer and yet, she died. I almost lived in the hospital those days and after my night duty for her, I went to church to pray before going home to rest. But still, she died. Then a year later, my uncle died. And now, I have a terminal illness.

Why didn't you come for me? Don't you care?

But the next verses said: When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled...and Jesus wept (John 11:33-35).

Jesus wept. Can you believe that?

I realized that God really loves us even if we thought he doesn't. He is about to resurrect him but he was deeply moved and wept. He knows our pain and he doesn't want us to suffer. It says here, "See how he loves him." (John 11:36)

"Take away the stone," Jesus said. But Martha responded, "Lord by now, there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days. But Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God? So they took away the stone and Jesus raised his eyes, "Father, I thank you for hearing me. I know that you always hear me...Lazarus come out! The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, "Untie him and let him go." (John 11:44)

It has been three years I've been wearing shades and my health deteriorates. My relatives have lost all hope of recovery. But I've never stopped trusting God. I believed in Jesus words when he said, "If you who are evil knows how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who love him (Matthew 7:11).

God promised me that I will be healed and will be rewarded a double portion of blessings. Why should I doubt?

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19)

On March 20, 2021, I took off my shades. After 3 years of wearing shades, I was restored. My body has recovered with such vitality and youthfulness, and with gifts and tremendous blessings along the way. This is my resurrection! Not to boast of it, but then all of us have encountered this season of life. If it's not, you will and you can ask anything through Jesus. Until now, you haven't asked anything in my name. Ask and you will receive so that your joy will be complete (John 16:24).

We all have our own resurrection. Not just in heaven, but also here on earth. Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus replied, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:23-26)

I've already doubted I'd live and that I hope to meet God in the after life. I've never really thought that God grant me a resurrected life, with bonuses of a youthful body and an assertive mindset. But now, I have never been so alive before. God is so gracious to me. My days of mourning, He has turned into dancing (Psalm 30:11). To God be the glory. I gave all the credits to God because even the strength to carry on I have asked from him. Who am I to boast? I'm just an ordinary person. There's nothing special about me.

Nonetheless, now I understand why there was a delay so as people would believe that it was the hand of God that healed me and not my own effort. Jesus intentionally remained for two days in the place where he was. He could've been there on time. But he purposefully delayed himself.

Sometimes, what we are asking the Lord is different than what he wants for us. He had already foreseen the future. What I want is healing, but God has a better plan, it was a transformational journey together with him. I couldn't see that before. We can't put God in a box and tell him what to do. He's not like a genie in a bottle who after giving our praises, answered prayers will be granted. Nor he's a vending machine that after you put in your tithes and offering, blessings would come out. That is not God's ways.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:9).

This is my new life, and I always treasure this more than my birthday. To all of us who have been given a second or thrice lives, and to those who are experiencing their darkest times, may God blessed us all!

"Go and sin no more." (John 8:11 NLT)

Dear, Father God

Thank you for this new life. It was really a transformational journey with you. Even if I have to travel back in time, I would always choose this darkest moment of my life to be with you because it was this season that you were so close, this moment that I learn to trust in you, and discovered that your plans are better than mine. Thank you for not giving up on me...I loved you Dad because you love me first, Amen.