Finding You

Chapter 5

November 2018

Sliding into my dark teal leggings and putting on my all black Nike sneakers, I surprise myself with the urge to go on a walk down to the hiking trail off of campus that leads to a breathtaking view of the mountains. I'm hopeful it'll clear my mind, I've been feeling oddly anxious all week.

I sent a message to Delia, who's still in class, telling her where I'll be at.

Heading out the front door of our building the chilly November air cools me instantly. Every tree full of brown and golden leaves, as well as the ground under them. Although the trees won't be full of leaves for much longer. Soft chatter follows every path I walk on, students going to and from class everywhere.

"Hey! Loo!" I hear a shout behind me, although I already know who it is.

Turning around, Sebastian jogs up next to me and then slows. He's in black joggers and a thick tan sweatshirt, except no glasses this time. Must be contacts.

"Hey, Sebastian. Where are you going?"

"In life? I have no fucking clue. I tend to avoid that question at family functions," he sarcastically replies.

Without looking at him I say, "Honestly, me too." He lets out a small laugh, and then I do too.

"Just back to my room, you?" He asks.

"On a hike down to the lake by the mountains," I say, he nods and we walk in silence for the next minute or two until we reach the corner where he turns in the direction of his building.

Walking a few more feet, not knowing what came over me, I turn around and call out, "Hey, Sebastian? Do you want to come with me?"

He smiles widely and jogs back up next to me.

—

"So, why graphic design?" I curiously ask Sebastian, I would have taken him for the typical business major. Sitting down on the grass, we both take in the view of the mountains. Pointed land masses with greenery trailing up them until they reach the faint white caps at the top. Silence rimmed the air except for the light sounds of different critters swimming around in the lake and poking their heads out of the water.

"At first I wasn't really sure why, I've always had a niche for drawing when growing up but I realized I loved being creative. Design works my brain in ways I never thought it could, it also takes my mind off things when I need it. What about you, what are you majoring in?" So far, that cliche Jersey Boy wasn't turning out to be who I expected him to be.

"Forensic science," I respond.

Sebastian turns his head to look over to me and says, "Badass. Why forensic science?"

Lightly laughing, I say "I love the details in science. And in forensic science, I love the mystery that can come with it. All of the details run my brain  around until I find the answer I'm looking for. It fascinates me to a whole new level. It's like once I'm given a problem to solve, I can't and don't want to stop until it's solved. There's always so much to analyze and examine and think about that it almost consumes my brain sometimes. It also makes me see things differently. I never knew how little a detail could impact something so huge. The smallest thing could make or break any case. There's all these things I want to learn about out in this fucked up world. And science allows me to do that, it makes me think in different ways and explore new things all the time." Suddenly I realize I probably just rambled on much longer then I should have as I see Sebastian looking as me and I can't decipher if that look is full of wonder or full of being weirded out.

"I just completely geeked out to you."

"That's okay," he says as he laughs, "what is I wanted to know more?"

A nerve struck inside of me, opening up the anxiety of someone like him really knowing me, "You don't want to."

"But what if I did? And still do?" He says as he gave me a cheeky smile that put warm, pink clouds on my cheeks and caused me to break eye contact with him.

"Well, then you're in for it big time."

"Just what I was hoping for," he says and even though I'm not looking at him, I can still sense that smile of his.