Look Up Child

Be Still My Heart

Nat's POV

These past two weeks have been incredible on set. Everyone was so kind and welcoming. I was really nervous at first, but many of my cast mates have been so encouraging and kind. I managed to keep on the down low that I speak fluent Italian from Stefania, Mr. Jason is still the only one who knows. 

Being at home hasn't been so great. Auntie V lost her case and she spent most of her time drinking and yelling. Connie has done her best to comfort me, but I'm scared to be there. Auntie V hasn't physically hurt me, but she has said many mean things to me and about me.

"Hey Natty, I never asked. Where in Italy are you from?" Jason asks. "It's a small place, Catania. My mamma and papà owned a restaurant known by many. It's name was Casa Lontano Da Casa. It means home away from home. They cared so much about their customers and I even got to help at the restaurant." I say with a big sigh. Jason wraps his arm around me. "Not only do I miss my parents, but the customers were like my family. I wish I could go back, even if it was for a little while." I tell him as I sniffle.

"I know no one can replace your parents, and I know it hurts to think about. But you're allowed to miss them, as long as you don't let it consume you. We love having you here and we will do anything we can to make you feel at home here." Jason speaks softly. "Thank you, Mr. Jason. I know I should be more grateful for this opportunity, but it makes me think of what my parents aren't here for. I know they would be proud, but I wish they were here to see it." I say, sniffling again.

"I wish my momma was here to see this too, sweetheart. I know your parents can't be here, but I just know they would be so proud of you." He tells me and wraps me in a big hug. "Thank you for making me feel better, Mr. Jason. You always know how to make me smile." I tell him with a smile.

"Okay kiddo, hop on. Time for school." He says, gesturing me to get on for a piggy back ride. I get on his back and we hold onto each other tight. He breaks into a light jog and occasionally spins us around. 

"What do we have here?" Stefania sees us and smiles. "Mr. Jason is taking me to my trailer for tutoring. Want to walk with us?" I ask her hopeful and give my best puppy eyes. "When you give me those eyes, I could never say no." She says with a pouty face. I give her a big smile.

I stay on Jason's back and Stefania reaches up to hold my hand. She smiles at me wordlessly and continues to hold my hand as I stay securely on Jason's back. 

We get to my trailer and Jason moves me to his hip so he can give me a pep talk before tutoring like he always does. "Alright, miss mam. What is it we always say?" Jason asks. "As long as I try my best, that's all that matters." I tell him confidently. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and puts me down. I start to walk up to my trailer before i feel someone tap my shoulders. I flinch a bit before turning around to see it's Stefania.

"Hey, bambina. It's okay. I just wanted to give you a hug before you went to school." She says and I wrap her in a tight hug. She gives a tight hug back and a kiss on the cheek. I don't let go when she starts to pull back and she takes that as a queue to keep hugging me.

"Ready for school, Nat?" The tutor asks walking up. She's kind and patient with me. I pull back from Stefania and she gives me one last kiss on the cheek before I go into the trailer after waving to them goodbye.

Stefania's POV

"God, I adore her. It's not even funny." I tell Jason as we walk back to set. "She's such a good kid. Kind, smart, and even better at acting." He says to me.

"Has she told you anything about her family? I'm curious because of some thing she told me today." Jason asks. "She only says that she lives with her aunt and her nanny takes care of her most of the time." I say with a sigh.

"Alright, I wanted to ask you where you are from. Where she said she lived rang a bell, but I wasn't sure. I don't want to betray her trust, but I think it would be good to relate to someone." Jason says. "I'm from Catania, Italy. I don't see how she can relate to that if she's from---" I cut myself off as Jason looks at me wide-eyed. "Jase, what is it?" I ask him.

"Uh, that's where she is from." He says. "How can that be, I thought she was from here?" I ask him. "Oh my god, she's fluent in Italian isn't she?" I ask him and he silently nods. "He parents also owned a restaurant in Catania. She said it was named home away from home in Italian, I am not going to trying and pronounce it." He says and I stopped walking with my hands over my mouth.

"Stef, what's wrong?" Jason asks. "I used to go to school with her parents. Luca and Giada. They were the kindest people, I didn't even know they had a daughter. I stopped going back to Italy when I got my first acting job here. It consumed my time and I didn't have the time to go back. I was so sad to hear of their passing. I never knew about Nat, but I used to go to their restaurant excessively when I lived there. It was passed down through the generations in Luca's family." I finish with a breath. "I can't believe I didn't put it together. Now I even see at little bit of the both of them in her." I say with a sad smile.

"She didn't want people to know. She's eight, I think it's still hard for her. And I don't think she has the best home life. I have never met her Aunt, I've only met Connie." Jason states. "I have only met Ms. Connie as well. Jase, I have to subtly let her know that I know. I have this need and urge to protect her. It's just an instinct." I tell him.

"I feel the same. Don't rush everything at her, she may get overwhelmed, but I think it would be beneficial to know she has someone who knows the Italian side of her. It could be cathartic for her to keep that side of her alive." Jason says. "I think you're right. I will ease into it. I just want to feel safe around me and to know that she can always come to me for help." I tell him as we walk into the building again for our scene together. 

Nat's POV

I finished a fun session with Ms. Kathy and I got a few text messages from Auntie V.

Aunt V: When do you get your first paycheck. You need to start paying rent for your room and for the food. Also for Connie for being your nanny. 

I text her back saying:

Nat: I get my paycheck in two weeks, mam. I will give it to you when I get it.

Aunt V: Connie will be with you for the month in the next few weeks, I am traveling the country for work. You need to provide for yourself. I'm not leaving money for groceries since you are making money now. 

Nat: Yes mam.

I put my phone away. I am beyond confused as to why I am responsible for this when I am eight years old, but I don't want to be yelled at by her. She is mean when she yells. 

It's around 2pm when I go to call my grandparents about Auntie V. Hoping they would have the answers. They pick up on the second ring as I am standing outside my trailer.

"Ciao nonna e nonno. Mi manchi. Mi chiedevo se hai parlato con mia zia ultimamente. Ha bevuto molto ultimamente e mi ha urlato contro che devo provvedere a me stessa e non sta pagando nulla per me. Dato che guadagno, devo pagare tutto da solo. Era gentile quando ho iniziato a vivere con lei, ora è cattiva. Ho paura nonna e nonno (Hi grandma and grandpa. I miss you. I wondered if you have talked to my aunt lately. She has been drinking a lot lately and yelling at me that I have to provide for myself and she is not paying for anything for me. Since I am making money, I have to pay for everything myself. She was kind when I first started to live with her, now she is mean. I'm scared grandma and grandpa)." I tell them.

"Lo scopriremo, piccola mia. Vorrei che potessimo riportarti qui, ma io e tuo nonno siamo più grandi e non avremmo nessuno che si prendesse cura di te dopo che ce ne saremo andati. Che ne dici se veniamo a trovarti presto? (We will figure this out my little girl. I wish we could bring you back here, but your grandpa and I are older and we wouldn't have anyone to take care of you after we go. How about we come see you soon?)" Nonna says to me. 

We talk a little bit more before we hang up. I notice there was a shadow on the other side of my trailer as I hung up and it starts to move.

It was Stefania. And it looked like she heard my entire conversation from the look on her face.

Author's Notes: All Italian phrases are from translator. Don't come for me if they aren't exactly correct!