Look Up Child

Back to Set

Nat's POV

I'm nervous to go back to set since it's been a few months because we had a break anyway. I don't like a lot of attention and I know that Stef had to tell Krista and Ellen and the producers the situation, but I know everyone is going to find out eventually. 

One part of me is feeling guilty that I didn't save my aunt, and another part is feeling relief that I no longer have to walk around on egg shells. I needed to talk to Stef and maybe Dani to make sure this is what they want, and they aren't doing it out of obligation.

Nat: Hey, Stef? Would you mind coming to my trailer when you get a chance? I finished with tutoring for the day and have a while before I shoot.

I sent this and waited for a response. She texted about five minutes later.

Stef: I'm on my way, bambina. You okay?

Nat: I'm fine.

No more than two minutes later, Stef came into my trailer. "Bambina, what's wrong? You never text I'm fine." She asks me as she scoops me up into her arms and onto the couch.

"It's stupid." I say, looking down fidgeting with my hands. She takes my chin with two fingers and looks me in the eyes. "Nothing that is making you upset is stupid, piccola mia (my baby)." She tells me sweetly. "Temo che mi prendi per obbligo perché non ho nessuno ora. Ho paura che un giorno tu e Dani non mi vorrete più o che io sia un peso troppo grande per voi due. Forse sto meglio in affidamento. Non voglio essere qualcosa che non hai chiesto (I am afraid that you're taking me in out of obligation because I have no one now. I am scared that one day, you and Dani are going to not want me anymore or I am too much of a burden on the two of you. Maybe I am better off in foster care. I don't want to be something you didn't ask for)." I say really fast, getting more anxious by the second. 

My breathing starts to get heavier and Stef takes my face in her hands as my eyes start to go everywhere. "Look at me, bambina. Only on me, eyes on me." She tells me. I remain unfocused and after a few minutes, she started to sing my favorite lullaby that reminded me of mamma and papà. My breathing started to become regular again as Stef kept her hands on my face so I could focus on her.

"Natalia, I love you with everything that I am. The day I found out who you were related to, I felt a pull towards you in the sense that I wanted to keep you safe and I wanted to protect you from the world. You deserve to have everything you want in this life and I will do my best to provide that for you. You don't deserve the hurt you have experienced, no one does. I want so badly to take that away from you so you don't have to feel it. Ti amo come se fossi mia figlia (I love you as if you were my own daughter). I always will." She tells me with tears in her eyes as she pulls me close to her then peppering kisses all over my face as she pulled back.

I let out a giggle as she was doing this. "There's my favorite laugh, I missed that." She tells me and I smile at her as I buried myself into her chest. "You know, I think mamma and papà would be thrilled to know I ended up with you. Although you didn't know them with me, I think it would have been important to them to know where I ended up and it was with you. I already know at some point, I am going to call you mamma. Whether it slip out or naturally, but you can say no, but I know mamma would be okay with it. Eventually, I'd do the same for Dani too, but I'd probably call her something else because saying the same thing can get confusing." I tell her looking up slightly chuckling to her smiling wide.

"You do whatever you are comfortable with, bambina. I will not force you into anything, I am just happy to have you with me. Safe and sound." She tells me with a kiss to the top of the head. 

"Okay my bambina. I know you're scenes are coming up soon, and I am done for the day so let's get you there. I'll carry you so I can keep you close. I know it's going to be difficult with a lot of people knowing your situation, but I will be there the entire time." She says to me. 

We get out of the trailer and I reach so that she will pick me up. She picks me up and gives me a kiss on the head as I bury my face into the crook of her neck. "I love you." I whisper to her. "I love you, bambina." She says to me back and places one hand on my head to hold me close.

Danielle's POV

I was just wrapping up a fire call scene when I saw Stef walking in carrying Nat. Usually we only carry Nat when something happened so I make my way over to them and see what was going on.

"Hi my girls." I say to them. I give Nat a kiss on the head and lean over to give Stefania a kiss on the lips discreetly. 

People are still not fully aware of the situation. They are aware that Stef has taken Nat in and the reason why, but they are not aware that Stef and I are in the process of adopting Nat together. I think the plan is to wait until the adoption is about finalized to tell the producers and other cast members.

Jaina, Barrett, Jason, and Jay already know what is happening with us dating and adopting Nat, but that's really all. We don't want to go public quite yet until Nat has made her official debut and when the adoption is finalized.

"Hi, bella." Stef greets me as she sits in her chair with Nat still buried in her neck. "Hi my princess." I tell her, leaning down to just barely make out her face. I reach down and tickle her stomach as she lets out a laugh. I missed that laugh. 

"Nat, time for your scenes!" One of the producers calls over. "Go, my little bambina. We'll be right here when you finish. Te amo (I love you)." Stefania says to Nat as she kisses her head. "Te amo." Nat says back before coming to me and giving me a hug. "I love you." I tell her and she says it back before running off to do her scenes. 

"What happened before, my love? I saw you carrying Natty in." I ask her. I put my turnout coat over us like I usually do to keep us warm. It's always so cold in the sets. And it gives us an excuse to hold hands without being caught.

"She had a little anxiety around us and taking her in out of obligation. I think it was more directed towards me because I knew her parents when I was younger. She was scared that one day we weren't going to want her and she thought that she'd be better off in the foster care system." She said with a sigh. I start stroking her hand with my thumb under the jacket. "I just needed to reassure her that we aren't going to do that. I told her that I love her as if she was my own daughter. And one day, she will be my daughter. And then she said that one day she is going to call me mamma and you something else because having two mammas or saying mamma twice would be confusing." She finishes with a chuckle. 

"You are incredible with her, you know that? Sarai una madre fantastica per lei (You are going to be an amazing mother to her)." I tell her and she goes wide-eyed. "I thought since my two loves can speak Italian, I needed to learn too. I wanted to wait to catch you two off guard, but I couldn't wait to say something any longer." I tell her.

"Sei altrettanto incredibile (You are just as incredible)." She tells me. "Luckily, we can be incredible together." I tell her. "I wish I could kiss you, baby." I tell her with a pout. "I know, bella. Soon, hopefully we will have the adoption finalized soon. But in the meantime, come over for dinner, Nat and I have a surprise for you." She tells me.

"I'd love to. Oh, looks like Natty is about done. Let's go get our girl home." I say as we wrap up for the day and go back to our trailers.