Well, it's simple. Anika Trivedi decided to let things go by writing what had happened a year ago; at Career Camps.
Filled with various feelings, all negative, she tries to keep distracting herself by staying busy. But when lockdown happens, she fi...
Radhika almost ran towards us, almost tripping in her school skirt. She said, panting between words, "A-another l-letter."
Clutching her sides, she continued, as we stared at her in amazement, "It w-wasn't there before. I found it beneath my sleeping bag."
As much as I was surprised and shocked, I was also tired. It had been a long day and none of us- maybe just me - were in no mood to discuss theories or make Adeela make theories. My mind was not exactly functioning and it was late. I didn't have any food in excitement, and was already starting to regret it.
"Radhika," I began, tentatively, hoping she doesn't get mad at me, "Its been a long day. How about we discuss it tomorrow?"
A pause. A deadly pause.
Radhika turned towards me, and said, "Of course. We can discuss it after breakfast; tomorrow." She was eerily calm, increasing my anxiety. Even for someone who never reacts in an extreme way, she was way too calm.
Akash and Adeela turned to Radhika in surprise. Adeela almost yelled, "What? But--but you were so excited. Like a minute ago..." She stuttered, unable to comprehend why Radhika agreed with me. Honestly, I was still in shock to even say something.
Radhika just said, flipping her hair over her shoulders, "Well, Anika isn't wrong. After all, we all need some sleep and food to understand what the letter means." She shrugged her shoulders.
I gulped. I should have been thankful that she agreed to me, but it seemed way too calm and casual. So much so that it seemed exactly opposite- as if she was flipping. Nervousness and anxiety brimmed in my heart, and I blurted, "Are you sure?"
Radhika raised an eyebrow.
I continued, trying to clear things, "I mean, thank you so much for understanding. But-but-"
Radhika laughed lightly. Till this date, that voice rings in my head making my stomach flip in uncomfortable way.
Radhika is my friend, I reminded myself. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and said, "It's alright. Go sleep." She said it cheerfully, but instead of finding it comforting I found it slightly commanding. It felt weird. Too sudden to even digest.
But then again, I still don't what I felt that day - even today. I repeat, am going to repeat again, my emotions were muddled up, my thoughts were hazy, and I was impulsive. I really hope this book - writing this book, I can free myself of all the regrets I refuse to give up. Even if I manage to move ahead, start afresh- I promise, I would visit Sanajhana's grave. Something I haven't done until now.
I forced a smile onto my face, and again repeated, "Thanks!" After another moment of silence, I decided to go. Forcing another smile onto my face, I turned around and walked towards the tents.
~~~
a/n: italics indicates present thoughts.
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