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It's morning. The sun pours through the green binds, making Anika groan. She is not used to this— well, has not been for a while. Things had been good for a while— at least a few weeks now, and writing those journals made her feel better. Maybe if she didn't poke her nose every where, and just had written the events in normal way, she wouldn't have been feeling this. All these heavy emotions which made her head spin and heart hurt. 

Why did she had to open the old wounds? 

Her phone pinged, and she abruptly sat up, startled. Rubbing her eyes rather vigorously, she yawns. Grabbing her phone from the stand beside the bed, she switches it on. Bright light flashes, making her blink. Curtains still drawn up, the phone was the only bright thing in the room. 

Adeela, it reads. 

She suddenly sits up straight and holds the phone tightly as if it will disappear from her hand. and reads it again. Fuck, she thinks, quickly typing her passcode. Her mouth dry, and her heart again pounding, she opens up the message. 

hi. let's talk about what you found.

Her eyebrows drawn together, Anika reads the message again. And again. Then, she sees Adeela is still typing something. So, she waits. Two seconds which seems like two hundred with increased heartbeat. Another message pops up.

only if you find something. 

whatever radhika is hiding. 

And then she goes offline. Anika inhales sharply, her eyes widening on last sentence. She doesn't type anything and instead leaves it on read. She needs to think. Maybe she can leave without Adeela absurd yet useful theories, but she can't ask Radhika that how she knew everything. 

Because that is just impossible

-

(the entry)

Do you ever wonder why trees are green? Or birds sing? Or why humans talk the way they talk? I used to, until I got other things to worry about. Like life, studies, career or even what happened last year? Is what I think is what actually happened or am I just assuming things because I self-obsessed? 

They said I am self-obsessed the last time we all were together. They said I am too selfish, too thick-skinned and insensitive to care about others. It is true?

I don't know. I really didn't think about it; at least not for a while right now. But writing this entry, even thinking about it makes my head hurt. 

Akash crossed his arms tightly across his chest, and stared at me. I couldn't meet his eyes. I mumbled, "I am sorry," 

Akash incredulously said, sarcasm dripping from his words, "You are sorry? For what?"

I tried to explain, "Nothing. Not telling you about Sanjhana's parents—"

Oops. Why do I always crumble under pressure?

Akash yelled, "Parents? Her parents? When did that happen?" 

I finally looked in his eyes. Hurt, disappoint, anger; it flashed in his obsidian eyes. Stark and clear. 

Biting my lips, I said, "Before I came here." 

He didn't say anything. His demeanor however did. His arms and chest tightly coiled together, his lips pressed together, his forehead crinkled with lines. He looked really angry. 

I defended myself, "I never had time..." My gut twisted, as he expression slowly changed. 

Akash raised his hand, stopping me. He shook his head, "You don't have too." It's the emotion behind his voice that broke me. My chest constricted, and tears welled in my eyes. Expressions disappeared from his face, shutting me out. 

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Oct 26, 2021 ⏰

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