Letting It Go

xxii.

15th April 2020

I hollered, "What!"

Taking a deep breath, I continued, in a much lower voice, "How is that even possible? Akash was with me all the time, and Adeela, um, Adeela was sitting next to you."

Radhika tugged the edges of her robes, "Um, I just know it!"

I countered, my voice defensive, "Okay. So, tell me where they met?"

Radhika fumbled with the answer, "I—I don't know." She finally said, "Just someone— someone who is very trustworthy— told me!"

It's weird how I cannot even remember what I had for my lunch yesterday; yet how clearly every single sentence of those conversions is imprinted in my mind.

Continuing, there wasn't anything interesting left from that conversation. Radhika pretty much kept justifying without giving any source or giving me the source's name, and me, well, I kept defending them.

Somewhere, some part of me wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. Not without any proof. I should—cannot blame them!

Radhika eventually gave up. After a lot of disagreements, we both just sighed and went back to our sleeping bags.

I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep.

Pinching my eyes shut, I tried to count sheep, failing miserably. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about what Radhika just told me. Every time I thought about Sanjhana and her mysterious death, sadness— as fresh as broken pieces of glass— pinched me. And as days passed, the situation was becoming more confusing.

By the time, the sun rose, I had taken a decision. Akash and Adeela won't tell me the truth if I ask them.

I had decided to find Kartavya. And unlike Radhika, I knew who he was. 

×

The next day was blurry. Akash and Adeela kept pestering Radhika to tell them the contents of letter; and Radhika somehow managed to evade them.

It was the fifth day of the camp. Three more days to go. I was both happy and sad at that time— eager to leave this place, and well— I had a different problem once I reached home.

Class 10 boards.

Sniffing, I buried those thoughts as I walked closer to the reception. It was lecture time, so the area was eerily quiet.

For the first time probably, I had noticed the surroundings. The place was beautiful. Tall trees, big bushes embellished with fairy lights. Small bamboo hammocks were all over the place. Colorful lanterns hung over the treetops— and even in daylight, this entire place looked appealing. Sanguine chairs were littered around the place, making the entire place shine.

For the first time, I understood why Sanjhana said this place needed donors. The amount of electricity, food, water and salaries given to people would amount to crores, because of the crazy number of students that had come from all over the city.

Plus, the maintenance of these huge, vast place added to the cost.

Damn.

I had been so engrossed that I didn't realize I reached the reception until I knocked into familiar people. Almost swearing, I looked up, only to find Sanjhana's parents staring at me.

Their eyes went wide with shock. They staggered back, and Sanjhana's mom blurted, "Hello."

Draped in her usual expensive designer saree and heavy jewels— she looked as if just arrived from a party. Same went for Sanjhana's father— staring at his phone, unblinking— who was wearing a blazer and crisped pants.

Holding her purse closer to her chest, she mused, "I—Sanjhana—"

Still in shock (that day), I burst out, "I am sorry. For San—" tears pricked my eyes, seeing her parents, "—her death."

I just dug my own gravestone. Maybe I should have kept quiet. You see, I don't do well in panicking- sort of situations.

I started again, "I am sorry, I didn't mean—"

She laughed lightly. I stared at her, taken aback. She soothingly said, her painted lips and caked up face drawn up in a sympathetic face, "Oh honey, it's alright."

I gulped; my heartbeat increased. That seemed a little weird.

She continued, sensing my hesitation, "Anika, sometimes someone, very very close to us is taken away in cruel matter. But that doesn't mean we should stop living. After all, Sanajhana won't have wanted us to waste our lives grieving her." She completed in a dramatic tone.

I just kept mum, taking in her words. For someone whose daughter just died, she seemed super-duper okay. Before I could say something, someone called them, and they quickly went.

Now I remember, Sanjhana's father was staring at his phone all the time. Smiling at something.

Radhika was right about Sanjhana's parents. What if she is right about Akash, Adeela and Kartavya meeting Sanjhana too?