Letting It Go

xxi.

14th April 2020

"Yes," She said, yawning. She again seemed calm; but does anything even surprise her anymore? Rage boiled in my chest, so I clutched the pendent tightly. Its sharp ends bit my skin, but I didn't want to yell right now.

Why didn't she tell us? Even we are close to aunty. We could have said something. I know, I know I wasn't in right state of mind, but still it hurt. 

I shrugged, and said, trying to sound indifferent, "When did you find it out?"

She got up, and walked towards her suitcase. Opening it, she said, "I found it out today,"

"You couldn't tell us?" I blurted. Leaving the pendant, I traced the angry red mark that shone against my pale skin.

She looked at me. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I am sorry. I must have slipped my mind,"

"Things like these don't slip ones mind,"

"Will you quit it?"

"I won't. Talk to me,"

"I wanted to, but I wasn't sure how to," she finally snapped. Adeela moaned in her sleep and turned away.  We both flushed and silence once again surrounded us. 

Lowering her hands, she dug out a fresh t-shirt. I waited for her to explain her point of view. Standing up, I watched her walk to the curtained area, and came back a second later wearing dry t-shirt. 

She didn't say anything and I patiently waited for her to say something. Grabbing another water bottle, I chugged down water. She sat down and loosened her wet hair. Looking at me, she said, "There is something you need to know."

I sassed, "You think?"

She glowered at me, and continued, "First promise me that you won't tell this to Akash or Adeela."

I sighed, "Why?"

"Just promise na,"

So wrapped up in curiosity, I made a promise. Only to regret it later. 

She said, "The thing is, Sanjhana's parents were indifferent to her death. They seemed so. Even after talking about half and hour, I couldn't find any sign of grief. They seemed too calm, collected and cheerful. And then I left making up some excuse. But I forgot my bottle, so when I walked in, I saw her father talking to the director of camp—"

I cut her in, "But they could be in denial—"

She cut me in, by saying, "Let me finish." I sat down, and she continued, "That's not it. They were smiling. The same camp director who declared her death as suicide was exchanging pleasantries over a cup of tea; with the dead girl's parents."

I flinched. 

She lowered her voice and continued, "I am sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Taking another deep breath, she continued, "I, um, ran away from that place before they could see me." 

Awkward silence descended upon us. I tried to register all that information in my brain, and Radhika — for the first time, Radhika was looking abashed.  

I softly said, "Don't worry. We will sort out things," and squeezed her hand. She smiled. 

Then I asked, "Why shouldn't I tell this to Akash or Adeela?"

She closed her eyes for a moment. Opening them, she said, "I found something else too."

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. 

She said, "Do you remember when I went before you all; after we met at the washrooms?"

I nodded. 

She continued, "Well, I found something. Sanjhana also met Akash, Adeela and even Kartvya-- or someone named Kartvaya-- before she died. And she met them after you left for the dinner!"

~~~

Do you think something is odd?

What are your thoughts about Radhika? 

Also, constructive criticism is accepted<3