Get Lost! || 1D Comedy

8. snack

Scene 10: [Friday, McDonald's, Niall and Louis' lunch break, 11:09 am]

[Louis is on break eating. Michael and Ashton walk in while Calum and Luke trail behind]

MICHAEL: "Yoooo, Louis."

LOUIS: (rolls eyes) "Here we go."

ASHTON: "Oh, come on you know you love us."

LOUIS: "If only you knew."

MICHAEL: "So, what's going on with work and all?"

LOUIS: "Well, you boys should know by now, coming every Friday hasn't shown you enough?"

LUKE: (whispers loudly to Calum) "Someone's sass level is on ten."

LOUIS: "Now where did you come from?"

MICHAEL: (all the boys grab chairs and sit around Louis) "So uh, Louis-"

NIALL: "LADS! LADS! LADS!"

ASHTON: "DAD!" (the boys stand up and swarm Niall, hugging and punching him)

LOUIS: (waits for everyone to sit down again, confused) When have you all established that Niall is your father?

NIALL: "Aw, Louis, don't be a jealous bastard just because you can't get one in." (to the boys) "Well, if this isn't a surprise!"

LOUIS: (sips drink) "They come every Friday."

NIALL: "Shut up, so what brings you all here today?"

LUKE: (looks at Calum) "Well-"

LOUIS: "Hey, get your own food! What do I look like, Mother Teresa giving out french fries and shit?" (bats at Michael's hand, coughs on food)

NIALL: "Hey, don't be a savage. You boys must be hungry. Well, let's eat!" (the boys get up, whooping and hitting Niall's shoulder) "Okay you get one thing from the dollar menu, you know how taxes are in this bitch... Okay one thing and an ice cream cone." (boys rejoice again)

LOUIS: (laughing) "Idiots."

MICHAEL: (returns with the rest of the boys, suctions mouth unto ice cream cone) "Now this is the life!"

NIALL: (waits for everyone to sit down, passes out food) "And the Big Mac and large fry goes to me."

ASHTON: (mouthful of fries) "Oh yeah, Niall, what took you so long to get here anyway?"

NIALL: (swallows food) "Oh, it's story time."

LOUIS: "Oh, I'd love to hear how you tell this one."

NIALL: "It was a dark and stormy night-"

LOUIS: "A bright and sunny morning at 8:00."

NIALL: "Who did they ask to tell the story?"

LOUIS: "No one asked at all really."

NIALL: "Well I'm still telling it." (back to the boys) "I was mildly late for work."

LOUIS: (whispers) "More like 15 minutes late."

NIALL: "Still mildly late. I go in as the greatest, most respectful employee ever, then our dick eating monster of a manager drags me and Louis into his dungeon or as you kids call it (air quotes) 'office' Louis and I negotiated our fate and-" (slams hand on table, everyone jumps) "He banished me as far away from Louis as possible.. to the tech section." (everyone gasps) "Yeah, but it wasn't a horrible fate other than being separated from my best friend. There's plenty of demo games to beat and earphones to blast Trap Queen into, so I didn't let Ben get the last of me, no sir. (folds arms)

MICHAEL: (gaping, closes mouth) "How could someone do that to you? You're the most innocent man walking on the earth."

LOUIS: "Wow, innocent."

NIALL: (nudges Louis, bites into burger again) "So what brings you boys here today, then?"

CALUM: "Because we love you...and Louis." (the boys agree through muffled grunts)

NIALL: "Nope. I know you guys are lying when you include Louis' name in almost anything, so what is it?"

LUKE: "Uh.."

ASHTON: "We need to get $1,000."

NIALL & LOUIS: "What?"

CALUM: "Well, the other day, after school, we went downtown a little past curfew and we decided to-"

LUKE: (blurts) "Spray paint a couple of buildings." (covers mouth)

CALUM: (shoves Luke) "Hey, I was going to make it sound better you fucker."

LOUIS: (shakes head) "So you four obviously got caught?"

LUKE: "Well, yeah, so we were all wondering.."

ALL: "Can we work here?"

NIALL: "Of course!"

LOUIS: "Of course not!" (looks at Niall) "What are you talking about?"

NIALL: "C'mon Louis, Target is basically a part time job for teenagers anyway. We totally need new faces. I'm pretty sure Paul's gonna have a stroke if he has to ring up another container of cheese puffs again."

LOUIS: "At least he doesn't drive teenage girls away with weird pelvic thrusts towards them."

ASHTON: "That was only Michael."

NIALL: "Besides, who hasn't done that to someone they find attractive before?"

LOUIS: "Me!"

NIALL: "And that's why you ain't got no bae." (Louis crosses arms) "Well, I think this would be a perfect job for you boys if you ignore the story I just told you. You should apply pretty soon before you guys get arrested."

ASHTON: "Already did."

LOUIS: (surprised) "And?"

CALUM: "We start work next Tuesday!" (boys yell ripping off shirts to reveal target polos, getting up chest bumping each other)

NIALL: "Fuck yeah!"

LOUIS: (buries head in hands) "God, no."