Get Lost! || 1D Comedy

12. universal

[Scene 17: Target, Electronic Section, 11:45 am]

NIALL: (crosses arms, squinting at Louis) "Hey, look who finally decided to pay me a visit."

HARRY: (looking down, guilty) "Sorry Ni. I've been pretty busy-"

NIALL: "I was actually talking about Louis, but your apology will do, man-frog."

LOUIS: Unfortunately, you won't be getting one from me. (puts hands on hips, matter of factly) "I visited you this morning."

NIALL: "Yeah, but that was this morning. (jabs finger on counter) "This is now."

LOUIS: "And I'm here now, aren't I?"

NIALL: "Damn it Louis!" (pouts) "I was supposed to win that one."

LOUIS: "Nice try, maybe next time. (thinks about it) "Or not, since I'll most likely win then also."

NIALL: "Ass." (returns to previous subject) "So, are you guys just here to talk or do you actually have something I can help you with? I'm pretty busy doing stuff."

LOUIS: (crosses arms) "Like what?"

NIALL: "Like.." (pauses, thinking of some kind of excuse) "Stuff you do when you work here."

LOUIS: "See, you don't even know. Anyway, I need you to fix Harry's phone."

NIALL: "Why didn't you just go to the apple store?"

HARRY: (looks accusingly at Louis) "See, I told you.."

LOUIS: (puts hand out to silence Harry) "Quiet. I get employee discounts, remember? Save money, live better."

NIALL: "First off, that's WalMart's motto, and.." (leans closer across the counter, lowers voice) "Isn't it illegal to use your discount for someone else?"

LOUIS: "For all these cameras know.." (snatches phone from Harry and hands it to Niall) "This phone is mine."

NIALL: (takes phone, to Harry) "Did you buy the phone from here?"

HARRY: "Well no-"

NIALL: "Sorry, only consumer electronics purchased from Target are eligible for a Target replacement or fix." (hands back phone)

LOUIS: "Whoa whoa wait, did they brainwash you when you got over here? That's the most confusingly intelligent thing you've said since you joined this job. I'm sure that's not in the handbook." (walks over counter, searching for consumer handbook)

NIALL: "The only thing I'm brainwashed on is that new Jurassic World video game."

HARRY: "The one with the legos?"

NIALL: "Yeah, surprisingly it's enjoyable, and if you're drunk enough, the dinosaurs are scary as shit."

LOUIS: "And this is what happens when you don't read the whole book, Niall. C'mere. (Niall comes over, looking unsuspecting, Louis points to the tiny letters) "Right here... with the exception of contract cell phones and pre-owned phones."

NIALL: "I thought with the exception of meant like... excluding."

LOUIS: (whacks Niall upside the head, Niall yelps) "That's it, I'm reading the dictionary to you the next time you come over."