Get Lost! || 1D Comedy

2. shift

Scene 2: [Target, Employee Break Room, 9:43 am] 

BARBARA: (arms crossed, serious) "You guys are late... (looks Niall up and down) again."

LOUIS: "Sorry, this week has been really busy for... both of us. My piece of shit car broke down so now I have to carpool with Niall and it's just-"

BARBARA: (giggles) "Hey, don't sweat it. It's not like I'm going to tell Ben or anything, just joking. (Niall laughs) Um, so yeah, aisle seven awaits since Alex-"

NIALL: "That bitch."

BARBARA: "What?"

NIALL: (eyes wide) "Uh that lucky kid, it sure does pay off to be attractive these days."

BARBARA: (nods) "Possibly, but (taps head) brains are better." (Niall nods, Barbara sighs) "Well, I better start my shift then."

LOUIS: "Alright Barb."

NIALL: (waves until she leaves, turns to Louis) "God, she's so hot."

LOUIS: (lifts finger, matter of factly) "And.. only interested in smart guys."

NIALL: (defensive) "What's that supposed to mean? I'm smart!"

LOUIS: "Intelligent, perhaps. A 3.15 GPA is okay, but compared to a 4.50, you're trash."

NIALL: (scoffs) "Those are just numbers. Hit me a question."

LOUIS: (thinks) "What's 2(x+5)?"

NIALL: (strains) "see ven tee?"

LOUIS: (hides laughter) "What does ADP stand for scientifically?"

NIALL: "All da pussy."

LOUIS: "9+10?"

NIALL: "21!"

LOUIS: ( rubs temples) "At least tell me you know what America's national anthem is."

NIALL: "God Save the President?"

LOUIS: "Be serious."

NIALL: "I am."

LOUIS: (grabs pen, clicking it) "How'd you even get a 3.15? Well if you ever get a chance with Barbara, it's either because she suddenly changes her mind about how she feels about smart guys or the writer of this story wants to help you out." ( signs name on paper)

NIALL: (snatches pen) "If not, I could always ask the readers to get the author to. She's the one who made her a brain fetishy yet oh so sexy girl.'"

LOUIS: (whispers) "You're not supposed to interact with the readers like that."

NIALL: "You're the one that told them we know our lives are revolving inside of a fanfiction/ comedy on wattpad!"

LOUIS: "Fine, I'll stop, but since it's out there, follow me on wattpad @loutommo91lolz"

NIALL: "Louis!"

LOUIS: (raises hands to surrender) "Okay, I'm done."

~

SO YEAH THIS IS PRETTY SHORT BUT YES, THE BOYS DO REALIZE THAT THEY ARE IN A STORY AND THEY MAY POSSIBLY KEEP MENTIONING THIS THROUGHOUT THE STORY EVEN THOUGH I TOLD THEM NOT TO.